tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60930241420216469412024-03-04T21:08:14.960-08:00The Parents Via Egg Donation OrganizationThe Parents Via Egg Donation Organization was created to provide an
informational and supportive environment where parents and parents-to-be can come together to exchange information about all facets of the egg donation process with respect to growing their families.PVEDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15193705233283347207noreply@blogger.comBlogger198125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6093024142021646941.post-16559738486019985832013-08-19T16:40:00.003-07:002013-08-19T16:43:04.455-07:00Kudo's and Props To PVED's Own Board Advisor Wendie Wilson-Miller!!!<br />
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<span lang=""><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXHVpf_-g6gHCqCmbLAIBMw2oq5Ecq3KvEheYd5prV-y0-cmIUW9M75nGz2HxHbK0_NCtOEQFnkKfwmDMZCXEfguiYnL3KAsf3TYa_60Q18yrUHkAUvJtzQzxz_qOO3zZ9d8q1b_cYUqk/s1600/WWMEN.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXHVpf_-g6gHCqCmbLAIBMw2oq5Ecq3KvEheYd5prV-y0-cmIUW9M75nGz2HxHbK0_NCtOEQFnkKfwmDMZCXEfguiYnL3KAsf3TYa_60Q18yrUHkAUvJtzQzxz_qOO3zZ9d8q1b_cYUqk/s640/WWMEN.JPG" width="360" /></a></span></div>
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Wendie Wilson-Miller and (on the left) and Erika Napoletano (on the right), authors of Insider's Guide to Egg Donation from Demos Medical Publishing, won the LBGT Gold Award!<br />
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Way to go Wendie and Erika! We are so proud of you!<br />
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If you would like a copy of this amazing book go to the link below:</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Insiders-Guide-Donation-Wendie-Wilson-Miller/dp/1936303302/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1376955494&sr=8-1&keywords=insiders+guide+to+egg+donation" target="_blank"><span style="color: red;"><strong>Insider's Guide to Egg Donation</strong></span></a><br />
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Wendie Wilson-Miller is a ten-year veteran of the egg donation and assisted
reproductive technology field, is the Founder and President of Gifted Journeys,
an egg donor agency based in Studio City, California. Before founding Gifted
Journeys, she served as the Cycle Director of The Egg Donor Program, the largest
donor agency in the United States. During her eight-year tenure with The Egg
Donor Program, Wendie forged relationships with many of the nation's leading
reproductive endocrinologists and the other specialists who work together to
join egg donors with recipient parents. Over the years, she developed a passion
for all types of families who sought out egg donors. Single parents, traditional
heterosexual couples, gay and interracial couples, transgendered recipients and
even those couples who travel from overseas to the U.S. for the accessibility of
the assisted reproductive culture - they all deserve to have an advocate. A
five-time egg donor, she's no stranger to the hormonal, physical and emotional
ups and downs of assisted reproduction. With her final donation cycle resulting
in a dangerous episode of ovarian torsion, she knows first-hand the risks borne
by both sides of the egg donation equation. <strong>Wendie currently serves on the board
for Parents Via Egg Donation, the nation's fastest growing support group for
recipient parents, and is a contributing author for their resource library.</strong>
Wendie has also been featured on NPR, <i>The New York Times,</i> ABC
News.<br /><br />Co-Author and multi-cycle egg donor is Erika Napoletano. Introduced
to the concept of egg donation in 2000 through a co-worker who had been a donor
for her best friend, she began researching the process and became a rostered
donor for a prominent Los Angeles-based egg donor and surrogacy agency. Her
donations have given several families the enduring gift of eleven children among
them and her life is continually blessed with one family's open inclusion of her
in their now four-year-old daughter's life. A professional writer, Erika is a
prominent consultant and outspoken presence in the digital marketing realm. In
June of 2011, <i>Entrepreneur Magazine</i> will launch her column "All Up in
Your Business" in their largest issue of the year. She was recently mentioned in
the <i>New York Times</i> as an authority in the small business space. She's
also a regular contributor to <i>Copyblogger</i> (one of the most widely read
online marketing blogs). She was a 2009 finalist for the <i>Denver Business
Journal</i> Outstanding Women in Business Award and has been a keynote speaker
at Chicks Who Click 2010 social media conference as well as SOBCon Colorado
2010. <br />
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</span><br />
<br />PVEDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15193705233283347207noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6093024142021646941.post-11244588195341431042013-06-20T20:16:00.001-07:002013-06-21T12:19:15.547-07:00A Pause And Thanks To Our PVED Sponsors<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEfgUz-bwrssHZ013Yn8vRP6qgWb0kKHAZfzVUM0CQ_kX9goOQTVNXoHn2Sq6-2DYtvP3Ad1MLowFp0u3507bEMjzfz7RT4U1UVI7sFLo9r2R-n6COrsTnugRdqPs6m54mV15y7vWwBd4/s1600/PVED+300x250.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEfgUz-bwrssHZ013Yn8vRP6qgWb0kKHAZfzVUM0CQ_kX9goOQTVNXoHn2Sq6-2DYtvP3Ad1MLowFp0u3507bEMjzfz7RT4U1UVI7sFLo9r2R-n6COrsTnugRdqPs6m54mV15y7vWwBd4/s1600/PVED+300x250.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Parents
via Egg Donation provides service to over 9000 intended parents and parents all
over the globe</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">We can’t say it
any simpler - the generosity of our sponsors makes our work possible. PVED is
thankful and proud to count the clinics, agencies, law firms, and individuals below
who financially support our organization.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Because of our sponsors
help we are able to do things like send quilts, books and other literature to
intended parents all over the globe. We are able to travel to major cities
throughout the USA creating face to face PVED parent communities, provide
complimentary mental health consultations for intended parents and parents via
egg donation, hold educational workshops, conduct educational in-service
sessions, maintain a very large all inclusive private forum as well as maintain
the organization’s website, and much, much <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>more. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Pacific In Vitro
Fertilization Institute – Dr. Carl Morton</span></div>
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<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Fertility
Source Companies – Steve Masler</span></div>
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<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Gifted Journeys
– Wendie Wilson-Miller</span></div>
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<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">A Perfect Match
– Darlene Pinkerton</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The Law
Offices of Amy Demma</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The Center for
Egg Options – Nancy Block</span></div>
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<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Oregon Reproductive
Medicine – Dr. John Hesla and Dr. Brandon Bankowski</span></div>
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<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Embryo Donation
International – Dr. Craig Sweet</span></div>
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<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">San Diego
Fertility Center – Dr. Michael Kettel and Dr. William Hummel</span></div>
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<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Conceivabilities
- </span><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><a href="http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&frm=1&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&ved=0CDwQnxYwAA&url=%2Fsearch%3Fq%3Dnazca%2Bconceivabilities%26rls%3Dcom.microsoft%3Aen-US%3AIE-Address%26rlz%3D1I7GZAG_en%26tbs%3Dppl_ids%3A--111144660617523161514-%2Cppl_nps%3ANazca%2BFontes%2Cppl_aut%3A1&ei=Tr7DUePPA-H0iwKOz4G4BA&usg=AFQjCNFx1SxwOw2rqyuv61cGl5nPdXdbtA&sig2=dOFUJ49omGR6HjbQ-QPTNg&bvm=bv.48293060,d.cGE"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Nazca Fontes</span></a></span><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></div>
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<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The Law Offices
of Catherine Tucker</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Reproductive
Partners – Dr. Greg Rosen and Dr. Bill Yee</span></div>
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<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The Surrogacy
Law Center – Stephanie Caballero </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Huntington
Reproductive Center</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Abby Grayson,
LPC,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">IVF New Jersey –
Dr. Susan Treiser</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Donor Network
Alliance </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Circle
Surrogacy – John Weltman, Esq</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Color Center
for Reproductive Medicine – Dr. Bill Schoolcraft</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">IVF Traveler –
Sue Taylor</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">To our sponsors
we give great thanks and forever grateful.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If your company
is interested in supporting the work of PVED or if you are interested in
becoming an advertiser, please contact Marna Gatlin Founder and CEO at
(503)987-1433 or marna@pved.org</span></div>
PVEDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15193705233283347207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6093024142021646941.post-68458076345846405042013-06-19T09:51:00.003-07:002013-06-19T09:51:34.817-07:00Calling all Intended Mothers - Production Company Needs Your Help Regarding Egg DonationHi folks this just in:<br />
<br />
Hi intended parents!<br />
<br />
My name is Shira and I work at 11th Street Productions in New York. We specialize in documentary-style television series and are working on a new show about surrogacy and egg donation. <br />
<br />
This is a brand new show that is currently in development, therefore there is no name for the show quite yet. <br />
<br />
We are looking for women who are in the midst of a cycle, pregnant or not, that would be willing to share their stories with us. Talking with us is not a commitment. <br />
<br />
We are still researching the topic and just want to hear real stories. We are interested in talking to both intended mothers and known donors.<br />
<br />
We want to hear their experiences and educate people on this very sensitive topic. <br />
<br />
Please contact me with any questions at all! My number is (212) 624-5608 and my email is <a href="mailto:shirapiellcasting@gmail.com">shirapiellcasting@gmail.com</a> Thanks again for all your help! <br />
-Shira PVEDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15193705233283347207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6093024142021646941.post-22118077187694302252013-06-12T19:04:00.000-07:002013-06-12T19:04:42.350-07:00Celebrity Infertility Secrets?This blog post comes to us from the kind folks over at <b> <a href="http://globalivf.com/2013/06/10/celebrities-infertility-secrets/" target="_blank">Global IVF</a></b><br />
<br />
Does She or Doesn’t She? (Only her fertility specialist know for sure)<br />
<a href="http://globalivf.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/secret.jpg"><img alt="secret" class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-5059" height="214" src="http://globalivf.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/secret-300x214.jpg" width="300" /></a><br />
<br />
When
we look at celebrities like Elton John, Ricky Martin, or Neill Patrick
Harris who have had children over the years it’s a no- brainer that they
used an egg donor to create their families. But when we hear about
female celebrities around the globe who have had children in their 40’s,
we wonder – “Did she or didn’t she?” Society perceives that if you look
young, your eggs are young. However, the reality is when you are in
your mid-forties and early fifties, your eggs aren’t going to work even
though your body may very well carry a pregnancy to term and you may
look great doing so. So why all the secrecy surrounding celebrities who
may or may not have used egg donation or IVF treatment in general. Is
it ego? Is it shame? Is it because infertility treatment equates to
being older which equates to being less marketable as far as Hollywood,
Bollywood or the rest of the entertainment world is concerned?<br />
<br />
<b>Is IVF and egg donation the global entertainment world’s dirty
little secret? Now, we’re not saying that any of the following women
used IVF or egg donor to have their children… in fact, most have not
admitted reproductive help of any kind (although some did admit to at
least IVF help – particularly the ones who used gestational carriers).
But take a look at the following list and draw your own conclusions: </b><br />
<ul>
<li> Geena Davis, an American actress, had her twins at 48.</li>
<li> Jane Seymour, an English actress, had her twins at age 44.</li>
<li>Nicole Kidman, an Australian actress, was 43 when she had her daughter with the help of a gestational surrogate.</li>
<li>Cherie Blair, wife of England’s former Prime Minister gave birth at age 45.</li>
<li>Susan Sarandon, an American actress, had a baby at age 46.</li>
<li>Somali-born model Iman, married to rocker David Bowie, gave birth at 44.</li>
<li>Helen Fielding, an English novelist/screenwriter best known for her character Bridget Jones, gave birth at 48.</li>
<li>Arlene Phillips, an English choreographer, gave birth at age 47.</li>
<li>Holly Hunter, an American actress, had her twins at 47.</li>
<li>Cheryl Tiegs, a global icon in the world of modeling, had twins at age 52.</li>
<li>Marcia Gay Harden, an American actress, was age 45 when she gave birth to her twins.</li>
<li>Helena Bonham Carter, an English actress, had her baby at age 42.</li>
<li>Joan Lunden, an American television personality, went on to have two
sets of twins at age 52 and 54 with the help of a gestational
surrogate.</li>
<li>Elizabeth Edwards, the former wife of American presidential hopeful
John Edwards, gave birth to her daughter at age 48 and her son at age
50.</li>
<li>Kelly Preston, an American actress and wife of John Travolta, gave birth to a son at age 47</li>
<li>Halle Berry, an American actress, is currently pregnant and 46.</li>
<li>Mira Sorvino, an American actress, gave birth to her last child when she was 44.</li>
<li>Mariah Carey, musical superstar, gave birth to twins at age 42.</li>
<li>Beverly D’Angelo, an American actress, was 49 when her twins were born.</li>
<li>Sarah Jessica Parker, an American actress, had twins with the help of a gestational surrogate at age 44.</li>
<li>Nancy Grace, an American television personality, was 47 when she brought her twins into the world.</li>
<li>Farah Khan, a well known-prestigious Indian film director, gave birth to triplets at age 43.</li>
</ul>
Farah is one who admitted using IVF, she was quoted as saying: “When
the choice is to either go childless or IVF, there is no room for
doubts. I was 43 when I had my kids and my biological clock had stopped
ticking long time ago.” However, she left the egg donation part out. So
did she? Or didn’t she? Do you see a trend here? IVF equals shame for
many women and that in itself is incredibly unfortunate. Pregnancy for
most women is a rite of passage. It’s something that we typically don’t
think about until the time comes when we want to be pregnant and then
it’s a really big deal. It becomes an even bigger deal when you
discover that you might be one of the many individuals in the world who
might not ever conceive or give birth in your own lifetime – or if you
happen to be one of the lucky ones who does it’s going to be after
seeking a lot of help and spending a lot of money.<br />
<a href="http://globalivf.com/2013/06/05/too-old-for-pregnancy/">Relates story: Expiration Date Concerning Childbearing</a><br />
<br />
<b>When our bodies aren’t cooperating and doing something that we
believed our whole lives we could or would do, it’s simply devastating.</b><br />
The whole topic of infertility, IVF, egg donation – it’s just so
socially taboo. It’s no wonder that regardless of who you are – public
figure, celebrity, or the woman next door, it’s not the most favorite
topic to talk about at a cocktail or dinner party. We don’t view
infertility like we do breast cancer. Infertility is still in that
shameful place that breast cancer was many years ago until public women
like Betty Ford brought it out into the forefront and made those of us
afflicted with breast cancer into survivors and heroes – as well we
should be. Until we change the mindset about infertility and embrace it
like we do breast cancer, it’s always going to be that thing that no one
wants to talk about. Now, celebrities may be different than the rest of
us. They may have more money. They might be prettier, more privileged
but guess what – they aren’t more fertile. That’s a myth that has been
perpetuated over the years because no one is talking about it. This
means that regardless of how famous you might be, the most common cause
of infertility in a woman who is in her middle forties is her age. And
for a myriad of reasons, many women – not just celebrities wait too long
to begin their family building – and after a certain point there’s not a
thing you can do to make more eggs because our eggs have an expiration
date. The reality is regardless of where you are in the world, <a href="http://globalivf.com/2013/06/07/amh-fertility-levels-egg-donor-test/" target="_blank">AMH and FSH </a>levels
don’t lie. By the time a woman is in her mid-forties, her fertility
rate and percentage of success to conceive naturally is just about zero.
Okay, okay we hear you – not every pregnant women who’s in her forties
has undergone any sort of fertility. However, be mindful they are the
exception to the rule – like one in a million – for the rest of us in
the world our reality is very different. Dr. Ric Porter, Director of IVF
Australia was quoted as saying: “A pregnant actress in her forties gets
a page in a magazine, but if those same magazines printed all the
stories of all the women who couldn’t get pregnant, the magazines would
be the size of the yellow pages. These celebrity ‘miracle pregnancies’
give women ridiculous expectations. I’m yet to see a patient who had
viable eggs in her mid-forties. Even with IVF, we’ve never had a
pregnancy after age 45.” It is what reproductive endocrinologists all
over the world face every day on the front lines – explaining to women
who are in their mid-forties the realities about their fertility, and
giving them the sad news that for them to become a mother is to give up
her genetics and seek the help of an egg donor.<br />
<br />
<b>Should celebrities make public service announcements about
infertility much like celebrities make public service announcements
about every other cause they are personally affected by?</b><br />
Granted no woman is obliged nor should she ever be forced to share
with the world how she conceived, regardless of whether she’s famous or
not. Infertility is incredibly hard, private and personal. However,
all of this miracle pregnancy mumbo jumbo that we see in all of the
magazines, the internet, and television by celebrities has got to stop.
We aren’t doing ourselves any favors by drinking the fertility Kool-Aid
and believing everything we read. This is about protecting your own
fertility by being informed and aware of the facts. It’s also about
protecting your self-esteem. Back in 2000 Larry King asked Cheryl Tiegs
if she used an egg donor to conceive her twins and her reply was: “No,
it’s my eggs and my husband’s sperm so they’re our babies. I’ve been
taking care of myself for so long, I know my reproductive organs are
much younger than I am.” This left me saying aloud “Really Cheryl,
you’re 52, really?!” What’s even more interesting about the whole Cheryl
Tiegs thing is when she and her husband divorced, Cheryl lost custody
of her newborn twins to her husband. I know it made me stop and say
“Hmm.” I wonder what the rest of the world thought. The message that’s
pumped into the media is that for women like you and me who are looking
into the fishbowl of “celebrityville” it can be incredibly misleading –
it equates to false hope and being complacent about your reproductive
health.<br />
<b>So why aren’t more famous women speaking out and being honest about their fertility or infertility issues?</b><br />
Lauri Berger de Brito of the Agency for Surrogacy Solutions in Los
Angeles says, “The presumption is that if you look young, your eggs are
young.” For men it’s like the old adage: “Men are like fine wine they
get better with age”. Men can continue to manufacture sperm until they
die – take a look at Tony Randall he was in his mid-80’s when he became a
father. However, in Hollywood, Bollywood, or wherever you are in the
world, getting older does not go hand in hand with fertility – women are
not perceived as getting better with age especially when it comes to
their eggs.<br />
But wouldn’t it be lovely if just one celebrity would come forward,
be vulnerable and say: “I am a mother via egg donation and I am proud.”PVEDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15193705233283347207noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6093024142021646941.post-76733714647494080872013-06-10T12:30:00.001-07:002013-06-10T12:30:20.611-07:00Parent Via Egg Donation Book Project Under Way!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcbNcgfmLDZgchTN2dEkMqbkrSJkwx5jvJsEpgLI28v4eBjvcyKPwGka-s_2CglRReXCDcPwStdcQr-L4JDZqi_nXlE3l3DW5fX1VEb2-XYR0ifxKpIURubLr8_qBz8NSUiD5gcHKKcoY/s1600/pved+banner.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="80" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcbNcgfmLDZgchTN2dEkMqbkrSJkwx5jvJsEpgLI28v4eBjvcyKPwGka-s_2CglRReXCDcPwStdcQr-L4JDZqi_nXlE3l3DW5fX1VEb2-XYR0ifxKpIURubLr8_qBz8NSUiD5gcHKKcoY/s320/pved+banner.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
You asked and we listened!<br />
<br />
Parents Via Egg Donation will be offering a book for all intended parents who are looking to create or build their family through egg donation as well as parents who are already parents through egg donation.<br /><br />We will offer the book in several different formats:<br /><br />Hard Cover<br />Soft Cover<br />Kindle/Nook<br />E-Book<br /><br />Because our book is a by the intended parent and or parent through egg donation for the intended parent or parent through egg donation we have a <strong>specific</strong> focus.<br /><br />Our focus is to tell <strong>your </strong> stories -- telling your story is one of the best ways to empower, support and educate the world about egg donation and what it means individually to each person.<br /><br />You can be anonymous. You can be known. We can make up a name for you. <br /><br />But we need <strong>your help.</strong><br /><br />If our organization as touched you, helped you, supported you, inspired you, educated you, or empowered you in any way and you would like to find a wonderful way to give back write to <strong><a class="bbc_email" href="mailto:pvedbook@pved.org">pvedbook@pved.org</a> </strong> and in the subject simply write: PVED Book Project and we will write back to you with all of the pertinent information.<br /><br />Just think your words make help another intended parent make that the often scary leap to embarking upon one of the most life changing experiences we as parents may ever have.PVEDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15193705233283347207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6093024142021646941.post-43954497453916318352013-06-05T16:36:00.003-07:002013-06-05T16:36:50.868-07:00Why Embryo Donation shouldn’t be called Adoptionby Sue Taylor **<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 6pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.5pt;">Let me start out by saying that embryo donation is an amazing gift
and a wonderful option for family building. And traditional legal adoption of a
living child is equally amazing; it is a true gift to be selected to parent a
child through adoption. However, the language that is used by some in the
industry who have decided to call embryo donation by the term “embryo adoption”
needs some deliberate attention and careful thought by industry professionals
and society. <br />
<br />
My opinion is that the term “embryo adoption” is primarily being used by
organizations simply as a marketing gimmick primarily for financial gain. By
making it “just like adoption” it is a way to appeal to broad groups of people
wanting a child (who might not be considering assisted reproductive
technologies for their own myriad reasons) and it allows the organizations
(often religious) to promote this form of fertility treatment as having the
added benefit of also being a good deed with a “save the frozen embryos from a
freezer” appeal. Sometimes, they even add the “orphan” label, which I find
terribly insulting. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 6pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.5pt;">For the sake of this conversation, I am not even going to broach
the “life begins at fertilization – or implantation – or viability – or birth”
issue that is often at the crux of the embryo adoption movement. Instead I am
going to focus simply on the language being used. <br />
<br />
In marketing embryo donation as a form of adoption, I think it minimizes or
trivializes the feelings and experience of birth parents and “real” adoptees from
a traditional, legal adoption (the ones who were living, breathing persons when
they were legally adopted and their birth parents relinquished their rights).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let me explain. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
What birth parents go through in making the difficult decision to place a child
for adoption is not to be taken lightly. Unlike a person choosing to donate
embryos (typically under no time pressure or duress of an impending birth),
birth parents are making a very difficult decision under great pressure and
stress about parenting or adoption - often agonizing at great lengths while the
child is growing in their body or they have just given birth. I doubt that a
birth mother would feel like she is "just like" the woman who chose
to donate her embryos. I am not diminishing the angst that goes into making a
choice to donate embryos - but it is generally done with deliberate intention
and great joy in the opportunity to help someone else once your own family
building pursuits are complete.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And that
is a far different emotional situation than making an adoption plan for a child
born or about to be born. In my experience, families choosing to donate embryos
typically don’t experience the same type of angst and ongoing grief about their
choice as many birth parents often do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They are making a willing choice to donate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They rejoice that they were able to share
their own joy of parenting by donating embryos to help fulfill the dreams of
another family. In contrast, despite the fact that birth parents may have
confidence that the decision they made was the best thing for the child, it is
typically a huge personal loss. And the circumstances that bring them to that
loss-or even their confidence in their decision-doesn't diminish the fact that
it typically has an emotionally charged lifelong impact. <br />
<br />
And, what about the adoptees? As an adoptee myself, I think the term embryo
adoption is dismissive of adoptees feelings and experiences.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Regardless of the circumstances of your
adoption, there is a loss that is far different than simply a loss of genetics.
Being separated at birth from the woman who created me, carried me in her body
for 9 months, gave birth to me, and agonized over placing me for adoption does
not in any way make me feel similar kinship to a child who was born through
embryo donation. A child of embryo donation is carried by and born into to the
family who will parent them (and with the benefit of epigenetics, the
expression of genes influenced by the mother carrying the child).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Add that the child of embryo donation was very
much wanted and longed for throughout the pregnancy and from long before the
embryo was even received or transferred, and THAT is a very, very different
scenario with little in common to adoption. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 6pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.5pt;">You just can’t compare that to the experience in utero of a baby
growing in a woman who is oftentimes in a crisis pregnancy that may not have
been planned or wanted (or may have tragic circumstances involved).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The woman who is agonizing over an adoption
plan is in a highly charged emotional decision, under pressure and stress -
forced to make a parenting choice where often none of the options are
necessarily ideal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Experts are mixed in
their opinions of how much the fetus/baby is impacted by adoption – by the expectant
mother’s stress and state of mind, and then being removed immediately after
birth from the only human the baby has known. But, there is no question that
there is a loss.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Surely we can agree it isn’t
the ideal scenario of gestation and birth regardless of how amazing the
adoptive family may be. I can tell you that I feel that my experience as an adoptee
has very little in common with that of a child born of donated embryos. I think
it is insulting to suggest otherwise, truth be told. <br />
<br />
In my mind – the only similarity between embryo donation and adoption is that
children are being parented by adults who don't share their DNA. Period – that
is it! So, calling embryo donation a form of “adoption” is as if you are
trivializing adoption down to it being only an issue of not sharing DNA with
the parents raising you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can assure
you that adoption is far more complex than that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 6pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.5pt;">If we’re making comparisons, most everything else about embryo
donation has far more in common with using donated gametes for reproduction via
assisted reproduction. That might include double donor IVF or even egg or sperm
donors - where one or both sets of DNA were donated. Again, in all of these
scenarios, the child was very much wanted from before they were transferred
into the uterus and the parent(s) were likely moving heaven and earth to be a
parent, donated embryos are simply a means of how they got there. But that
intention and desire to be parents from before pregnancy is far different from
a crisis, unplanned pregnancy and I am not convinced that the baby doesn’t feel
this difference. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 6pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.5pt;">Embryo donation is a medical procedure; it is not the adoption of
a living person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is a chance for
pregnancy where realistically, the odds of it not working are greater than the
odds of it resulting in a live birth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There is something wrong with equating or giving equal value (through
our words) to a living, breathing child being placed for adoption and the
donation of embryo that is more likely not to survive and grow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our US legal process is clear that a child
can only be adopted (or have parental rights relinquished) after they are born.
A donation of embryos is<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a legal
relinquishment of rights to embryonic tissue, not an adoption.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
I want to say specifically that I don’t take so much issue with families who
elect to talk to their children about embryo donation using the language of adoption
- how they want to present their family to the world is their business. I do
hope that they are considering the language with great care and consideration though
for the children’s sake.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also have no judgment
for anyone who chooses to go through an embryo adoption agency and the quasi-adoption
process required by them as a way to get their embryos or as a way to donate
their embryos.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think however your
embryos or children come to you is your business as long as it is done
ethically. And however you decide to share the gift of embryos is also your
business if you are donating.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My
frustration is with industry professionals and these non-medical organizations
who are exploiting the term adoption to create a new industry primarily for
financial gain. <br />
<br />
My opinion is that many are using the term “adoption” as a way for those
agencies to make money off of families desperately wanting to be parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They charge agency fees, home study fees,
fingerprinting fees, background checks, training/education fees, etc. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And often that money is paid all before they
even qualify you to match you with embryos (that themselves statistically give
them about a 25 - 40% chance of a live birth).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Realistically, adding an “adoption” component to embryo donation can easily
double or triple the cost of embryo donation to the recipients. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 6pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.5pt;">And for those organizations trying to promote it as doing a good
deed and “saving the embryos” or "save the orphan embryos" movement
the reality is that in the US today, there isn’t an<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>excess or surplus of available frozen embryos
already donated and waiting for families. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In most clinic based embryo donation programs
or private matching services, there can be months long waiting lists for
embryos - people truly wait years for the chance of receiving donated embryos.
Perhaps in trying to create an “embryo adoption” industry that allows them to
add middle man and third party costs that are, in my opinion, unnecessary, the
organizations advertising this have created even more demand for embryos that
are in short supply.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.5pt;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 6pt;">
<br />
I think the ASRM was spot on when it gave the opinion that embryo donation is a
medical procedure, it is NOT adoption. Here is what their report said:<br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Requiring infertile patients who need
donor gametes or patients who need donor embryos to suffer the imposition of
unnecessary administrative and legal trappings of adoption and the costs that
accompany them is not ethically justifiable. The donation of embryos for
reproductive purposes is fundamentally a medical procedure intended to result
in pregnancy and should be treated as such.”</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 6pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i></div>
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 6pt;">
<em><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="http://www.asrm.org/uploadedFiles/ASRM_Content/News_and_Publications/Ethics_Committee_Reports_and_Statements/DefiningEmbryoDonation.pdf" target="_blank"><strong>The full ASRM report is available here</strong></a></span></em></div>
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<em><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></em><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.5pt;"><br />
For these reasons, I prefer that we use language for this new form of family
building (involving donation of embryos) that doesn't imply that this is
"just like an adoption". <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 6pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.5pt;">Maybe embryo donation isn't the right language.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Interestingly enough, the primary synonym to ‘donation’
is ‘gift’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And some families who have
been created through embryo donation choose to use the term “gifted
embryos”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think that beautifully
conveys the feeling of gratitude and appreciation that recipients feel toward
the donating families.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps that is a
term for the community to consider when pondering this issue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am hopeful that the industry professionals
and our society can thoughtfully come together to develop positive language
that is respectful of others and celebrates the uniqueness of the beautiful
thing that is embryo donation.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.5pt;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 6pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.5pt;"><span class="font_8"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">**Sue Taylor is an experienced IVF consultant with a passion for helping others on their journey to parenthood. With over 27 years experience in the healthcare industry, she now assists patients with selecting a clinic, or going abroad for more affordable IVF and donor egg IVF treatments. Ms. Taylor can provide assistance for prospective patients deciding if IVF treatment abroad is a good choice for them, assist with clinic selection, and has provided full facilitation services (including cycle & travel coordination). She has assisted hundreds of donor IVF patients seeking treatment abroad. Her blog, </span><a dataquery="#Linktbv" href="http://www.ivftraveler.com/blog" target="_blank"><span class="color_4"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">www.ivftraveler.com/blog</span></span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">, offers practical details for patients traveling for IVF services or an IVF vacation. Sue Taylor can be reached at </span><a dataquery="#Linkx3h" href="mailto:sue@ivftraveler.com?subject=PVED%20Contact" target="_blank"><span class="color_4"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">sue@ivftraveler.com</span></span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">.</span></span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span>PVEDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15193705233283347207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6093024142021646941.post-19405367976721272602013-05-01T09:12:00.000-07:002013-05-01T10:14:47.981-07:00Defending My Donor Egg & Donor Sperm Family – Part 3<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-small;"><em><strong>Opinions expressed on the PVED weblog are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the positions of Parents Via Egg Donation. Links on this weblog to articles do not necessarily imply agreement by the author or by Parents Via Egg Donation with the contents of the articles. Links are provided to foster discussion of important issues. Readers should make their own evaluations of the contents of such articles.</strong></em></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">This is the last of an ongoing three part series whereby I defend my
family planning choices, and thus my children, against misguided perceptions,
disparaging comments, and a threat to other families whose reproductive rights
are being called into question.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For
those of you who have been following, you know that my first installment
defended my family against comments made by the general public in response to
the building of a new infertility clinic in one Illinois suburb.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And my second challenged the study findings
of Elizabeth Marquardt, the editor of FamilyScholars.org and vice president for
family studies and the director of the Center for Marriage and Families at the
Institute for American Values.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, Mrs.
Marquardt is back at it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She also has a
few accomplices in her crusade, Jennifer Lahl, president of the Center for
Bioethics and Culture in California, and David Prentice, a professor with the
Christian faith-based organization, Family Research Group.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As you may have guessed by the last gentleman’s
credentials, this piece will strive to defend third party reproduction against their
arguments, some of which include religious perspective.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(No sense in ending on a light note, eh?!)</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><strong><em><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>*Before continuing, I
want to make it perfectly clear that
I am not attacking nor attempting to discredit any religious doctrine,
perspectives, or rituals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am not a
student of the Bible and am unqualified to speak in specifics or to quote
scripture.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am merely responding to
accusations and allegations that third party reproduction violates Christian
sensibilities.</em></strong> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>To review where we
last left off with Mrs. Marquardt, she pioneered a questionnaire style study
comparing the psychological experiences and overall satisfaction scores between
donor offspring, adoptees, and bio-raised adults.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In her 140 page document,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(</span></span><a href="http://www.familyscholars.org/assets/Donor_FINAL.pdf"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman;">http://www.familyscholars.org/assets/Donor_FINAL.pdf</span></span></a><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">) she dances around the final data and statistical
analysis, substituting conjecture and devoting a disproportionately large
portion focusing on the few negative responses received.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you recall, in the end she could only
report a 3% upbringing and family dynamic dissatisfaction rate among the donor
offspring respondents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, that
translates to a 97% approval rate among the donor offspring respondents, which
she glosses over and fails to illuminate in her conclusions and discussions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guess the 140 pages of rhetoric were indeed
necessary to bury an impressive outcome like that.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This time Mrs.
Marquardt is taking on the issue of surrogacy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Mrs. Marquardt asserts, “As mothers ourselves, we reject the
exploitation and commodification of women's bodies happening right now in the
U.S. and around the world.” (</span></span><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/elizabeth-marquardt/surrogate-motherhood-_b_2024435.html"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman;">http://www.huffingtonpost.com/elizabeth-marquardt/surrogate-motherhood-_b_2024435.html</span></span></a><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet, when referring
to the particular court case cited here, we see that she employs her usual
deception by omission tactic by highlighting one very bizarre case and
presenting it as the norm within third party reproductive practices.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The biological mother discussed in the cited
article was, by her own admission, neither exploited nor treated as a paid
commodity for her participation in the scenario.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This woman alleges that she entered into a
pregnancy agreement with a “good friend” with the understanding that they would
co-parent the child; though she admits she did not even know this “good friend”
well enough to know he is homosexual with a life partner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s not the only suspicious part of this
story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why would she agree to conceive
with donor eggs despite a lack of an infertility diagnosis if she truly
believed she would be co-parenting her own child and retaining 50% of parental
rights?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And who paid for the extremely
expensive acquisition of donor eggs and subsequent in vitro fertilization (IVF)
procedure? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She also entered this
purported agreement without a legal contract.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And although, as Mrs. Marquardt points out, “in Texas, as in all states,
the birth mother is the legal mother, even if donor eggs were used, so long as
there is not a valid surrogacy contract” this woman lost primary custody of the
twins.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What’s more, the father was
granted a restraining order against the plaintiff, and she is allowed “just two
hours daily supervised visitation. The door must remain open, she cannot bring
a friend to help her hold the twins, and she is not allowed to breast feed --
she is not even allowed to take their picture.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>To clarify, the law is on the side of the plaintiff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, she has <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">severe</i> legal injunctions placed upon her and her parental rights.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What is Mrs. Marquardt not telling us
here?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is this the best example she could
muster to make her case: a woman who naively, or so she claims, enters into a
pregnancy agreement without legal representation and who has been deemed unfit
by the courts to even be alone with the children?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, it’s the only one she could find, thus
she had to use it and again, gloss over the obvious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s no third party controversy here, just
insanity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I assure you, this is not
the norm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>As mentioned above,
Mrs. Marquardt is not the only opponent of reproductive technology.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In February, researchers from Christian
groups, as well as other family advocacy and women’s groups, gave presentations
to the Senate health committee claiming that commercial surrogacy exploits and
endangers women.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(</span></span><a href="http://cjonline.com/news/2013-02-20/topeka-sperm-donor-mentioned-senate-hearing"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman;">http://cjonline.com/news/2013-02-20/topeka-sperm-donor-mentioned-senate-hearing</span></span></a><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here, we see
the same concepts being alleged; particularly that third party reproduction
treats women and babies as commodities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>David Prentice states that third party reproduction has led to “areas of
ethical concern and to cavalier views of nascent human life and of women,
including stockpiling of 'excess' human embryos, and instrumental use of women
for buying of their eggs or use of their wombs as surrogates."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe I adequately addressed the
reimbursement issue for time, effort, and discomfort involved in assisted
reproduction in the first installment of this blog series.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mr. Prentice addressed the Senate health
committee on behalf of his Christian-based group, while the committee also
heard from Dana John Onifer who questions whether in vitro fertilization (IVF)
is “good, right and Christ-honoring treatment”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Thus, I’d like to briefly address my perspective regarding religious
scrutiny of third party reproduction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>First, I am curious as
to why it is assumed that gamete donors and/or gestational surrogates are in
exploited relationships with intended parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As discussed in my first blog under this title, the inclusion criteria
is extremely difficult to meet and the duration of the process alone offers
more than ample opportunity to annul the agreement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can understand how an outside observer may
view this transaction as simply that, a business transaction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But to both the intended parents and the
donor, be it of gametes or womb, this is not the case at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Donating gametes or gestational services is
the utmost in human compassion; it is a supremely selfless act of giving of
oneself to another less fortunate; it is more than just a life saving event, it
is a life giving one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And often times
the donor or surrogate is a dear friend or even a family member who requests no
reimbursement what-so-ever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This level
of altruism is not consistent with Christian principles?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jesus would object to reaching out to one
another in such a manner?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The basic
dynamics of any donation situation dictates that one party is the giver and the
other the taker; that doesn’t mean the recipient is taking advantage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And if religious groups still insist on
assuming a negative perspective, isn’t it possible that donors and surrogates
are exploiting the intended parents, that our bone deep heartache makes us the
vulnerable ones?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And yet we put our
faith, love, and vulnerability out there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And instead of exploiting us, good people, dare I say sainted people,
come to our aid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That sounds like
Christ-like behavior to me.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Secondly, it is undeniable that IVF and third party
reproduction does raise certain ethical quandaries.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have hundreds of sleepless nights and
whispered prayers under my belt as testimony to that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, advancing technologies are improving
success rates and even eliminating the need to conceive more than will be placed
in the uterus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But even in the
commonplace case of excess embryos, intended parents have options regarding the
outcome of those embryos.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When managed
properly under the guidance of a skilled embryologist, those embryos retain
their right to life at a success rate that is often on par with the pregnancy
rate of naturally conceived embryos.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
if a family does not desire to pursue further pregnancies, they often donate
them, completely free of any financial gain, to other infertile couples.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again, I assert that is good, Christ-honoring
behavior.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Lastly, an all too frequent argument that I have heard
from Christian advocates is that third party reproduction is selfish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The argument goes something like this: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I am so sorry for your losses
[miscarriages], but maybe this is God’s plan for you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t you think it is selfish to create more
children you were obviously not meant to have when there are so many
underprivileged children in the world needing to be adopted?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>(No, I am not exaggerating.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ask any infertile woman or couple; they’ve
heard it, more than once.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And in all
honesty, I can see the validity of that point.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But, if that is true, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">everyone</i>
who conceives their own children, regardless of method or genetic connection,
is selfish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By this rationale, any
intended pregnancy while there are parentless children in the world displeases
God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By this rationale, the most selfish
people in America are the Duggars.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They
obviously have the willingness, love, resources, and patience of five Jobs to
take on two baseball teams of children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And not a one of them is adopted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Yet interestingly enough, this family is on a Christian pedestal; they
are a beacon of Christian family values.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Why do Christian groups love them so much, but I am selfish for wanting
to nurture a child into existence from beginning to end, even when that means I
need to accept the helping hand of a stranger?</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Of course there will always be examples of
mismanagement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nearly any situation
lends itself to scrutiny and manipulative tactics; third party reproduction is
by no means an exception.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And sadly, we
live in a society that likes to sensationalize the worst of examples,
especially emotionally charged ones, to be presented as norms.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t like irresponsible infertility
patients (Octo-mom ring a bell?) or unscrupulous infertility clinics
(Octo-mom’s infertility team) any more than anyone else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, such deplorable examples make it
even harder for me to defend my choices and my family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But here’s the thing, as much as I judge
those examples, as much as I advocate for better, in the end there is only one
final judge from a Christian perspective.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And I stand firm on my personal choices.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am willing to meet that final judge knowing in my heart that my
husband and I did take an ethical path, we did respect life in the utmost, we
did accept a loving human-to-human donation, and we bestowed that same degree
of love upon our children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our children
are being raised with the Christian principles of altruism, love, gratitude,
and tolerance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yep, I feel pretty
confident in saying they were created in God’s likeness with the assistance of
God’s children. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Personally, I don’t
think that displeases Him.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">-Kelley Wendel, RN, BSN, & most importantly,
MOM <br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrWKJi8iGNUes4vbHlHYPQrTveh71CXEDPUIHJYr2W4KGKP2bKJ07t6zVA03L0CpmBXyUmy8u3ZTD72Nu2KK35hbKJCKRTQBe_7dgOLWwQdMNh6dkxeBme5V9uJ_oiva-lMn_NHHugLOQ/s1600/birds+of+a+different+feather.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrWKJi8iGNUes4vbHlHYPQrTveh71CXEDPUIHJYr2W4KGKP2bKJ07t6zVA03L0CpmBXyUmy8u3ZTD72Nu2KK35hbKJCKRTQBe_7dgOLWwQdMNh6dkxeBme5V9uJ_oiva-lMn_NHHugLOQ/s1600/birds+of+a+different+feather.jpg" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Kelley Wendel is the author of <i>Birds of a
Different Feather</i>, a children’s book designed to instill aprideful sense of
self and celebrate family inclusion regardless of genetic history. <i>Birds
of a Different Feather </i>is endorsed and recommended by Parents Via Egg
Donation (PVED), Donor Offspring: Books for Children, Creating A Family, and
Adoption.com. To learn more about the author and the book,
visit: </span></span><a href="http://www.kelleywendel.tateauthor.com/"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman;">www.kelleywendel.tateauthor.com</span></span></a><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> Follow me on Twitter and Facebook; links
available through the website. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span>PVEDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15193705233283347207noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6093024142021646941.post-17998001871411548412013-04-19T12:15:00.001-07:002013-04-19T12:15:42.873-07:00The Complementary Benefits of Massage and Counseling for Fertility Patients<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Complementary
Benefits of Massage and Counseling for Fertility Patients</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">By <a href="mailto:%20brittadinsmore@comcast.net" target="_blank">Dr. Britta Dinsmore Ph.D.</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My name is Britta Dinsmore, and I am a Psychologist as well
as a mother through egg donation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
affiliation with Oregon Reproductive Medicine, I work with Licensed Massage
Therapist Sarah Watson at the Healing Connections Center, where counseling and
massage are used as complementary modalities to support women undergoing
fertility treatment, both with and without third party assistance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The focus of our work is to help women
decrease their stress, feel more supported and nurtured, experience more
connection between their physical and emotional selves, and identify ways to
get the physical and emotional support and care they need throughout the
treatment process.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sarah and I have been close friends and the idea to bring
our modalities together was formulated during one of our weekly walks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was explaining how counseling and stress
reduction training techniques were used to help fertility patients cope with
the emotional distress they often experience.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I noted that the intense
stress of infertility can be compared to someone undergoing cancer treatment,
Sarah experienced an “Aha moment.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
had been working with cancer patients on the infusion ward at OHSU.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In this setting, it is well-recognized that
the stress of the disease and the chemistry that the patients have to endure
respond extremely well to regular massage and compassionate touch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sarah noted that there are many studies
showing massage on cancer patients decreases their pain and nausea and improves
their well-being.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We became excited
about the possibility that massage could complement counseling in helping the
women undergoing fertility treatment who, like cancer patients, also experience
high levels of stress and endure chemistry in their treatments. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">While individual and group counseling have long been viewed
as an important source of support and care for patients with fertility
challenges, this has not been the case with massage therapy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sarah told me that she has been a massage therapist
for over 16 years and not once come across a woman who reported being in the
midst of fertility treatment. She speculated that the question would likely not
even be on most massage therapists’ intake form and went on to add that there
is no formal massage therapy training to work with this group of amazing and
courageous women.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">After much thought, research, and conversation with nurses
and acupuncturists in the field, Sarah built on her experience with the cancer
patients to develop an approach specifically for fertility patients.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>describes her massage for these patients as a
“Massage Induced Nap.” The purpose is to encourage rest, lower blood pressure
and anxiety, and soften the symptoms associated with the fertility
treatment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sarah explains that often,
when patients experience pain in a particular part of the body, they detach
from that area to protect themselves from suffering even more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For instance, when a woman has to inject into
her belly numerous medications, multiple times a day for weeks, she can become
disconnected with the very place that she needs to connect with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Soothing, gentle massage combined with breath
work can re-establish that connection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The counseling I do as a psychologist also focuses on
connections---connecting people with their emotions and supporting a healthy
mind-body connection through teaching stress reduction techniques that promote
a physiological state of relaxation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
also encourage women to become more connected to their bodies by listening and
being responsive to their bodies’ needs for nurturing through healthy physical
activity, nutrition, rest, and self-care.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Fertility challenges can undermine a woman’s relationship with her body,
potentially causing her to feel “broken” or angry at her body for not doing
what she wants it to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In my sessions,
I also emphasize identifying ways to relate to one’s body with more compassion
and appreciation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Given the parallels between my work and Sarah’s, we became
inspired to see what would happen when we combined massage therapy and
counseling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We developed a
“back-to-back” massage/counseling wellness session and started offering it to
fertility patients.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The session starts
with 40 minutes of massage, which is followed by a 10 minute reflection period,
and then completed with a 40 minute counseling session.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This wellness session has been a great
introduction for clients who have not experienced much of either modality.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Stress is clearly experienced both emotionally and
physically. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sarah’s experience in
massaging fertility patients is that it gives patients the opportunity to
identify and feel where they are experiencing tension---typically in the head,
face or neck---and to become aware of any emotions associated with that tension
or place in the body.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having a counseling session afterwards, allows
clients to verbally express that stored emotion and be supported in their
experience of that. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My experience as a
psychologist has been that, following a 40 minute massage, patients came into a
counseling session much more connected to their bodies and emotions, open and
ready to receive what counseling has to offer. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In client testimonials given after the
back-to-back massage and counseling wellness sessions, the clients reported
feeling more supported, nurtured, and empowered with relaxation/meditation
tools to use at home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“I was impressed with
my sessions with Sarah and Britta, and I highly recommend all IVF patients take
advantage of their services.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I underwent
the massage and counseling session the day before I began my shots, and it was
a lovely, soothing, therapeutic way to begin this process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sarah emphasized the mind-body connection and
the importance of being connected to my body during the scientific
procedure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Britta is a calming presence
with a sympathetic manner, and she gave me good relaxation and coping
techniques.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thoroughly enjoyed and
appreciated my time with them and would recommend them to anyone who would like
a healing, connecting, calming, oasis during what can be a very stressful
time.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Since the back-to-back massage and counseling wellness
sessions were so well-received, it was clear to us that, in addition to
counseling, massage is a great support during the various stressful stages of
fertility treatments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This seems to be
even more true if the massage therapist is well-versed in fertility treatment
protocols, as several patients described feeling less awkward not having to
explain and educate about the details of their treatment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Women who have received massage before,
during, and after their IVF treatment have expressed feeling nurtured,
supported, and “whole” again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have
also reported that massage gave them time for some much needed rest and an
opportunity to “turn off” the churning of the mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“I went to my
appointment with Sarah Watson with the thought “what do I have to lose by
trying something different?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have been
through 8 cycles of IVF over the past 9 years at different clinics.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had never had a massage centered
specifically around the procedure I would be having that week (transfer).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The time spent talking and the actual motions
of the massage (especially those centered on head, heart, and womb) were very
meaningful to me, and really helped me center myself in the moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It helped me to let go of my worries and
reflect on the miracle of my strong body, with or without a baby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For me it was a much-needed feeling of
connection---a connection I didn’t even know I was missing!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m very glad I went (Something interesting
to add:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the cycle was successful and my
baby boy is due in six weeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has
been a healthy and good pregnancy). “<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a result of how
well massage, in addition to counseling, has been received by patients, we now
offer “massage only,” “counseling only,” and “back-to-back massage/counseling
wellness” sessions at the Healing Connections Center and continue to look for
creative ways to better serve those experiencing fertility challenges.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Britta Dinsmore, Ph.D.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Parents via Egg Donation Director of Mental Health<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><a href="http://www.healingconnectionspdx.com/"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">www.Healingconnectionspdx.com</span></a><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Britta Dinsmore, Ph.D. can be contacted at </span><a href="mailto:brittadinsmore@comcast.net"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">brittadinsmore@comcast.net</span></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sarah Watson, LMT can be contacted at Rubpdx@gmail.com<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span>PVEDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15193705233283347207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6093024142021646941.post-27690748939023468752013-01-15T16:43:00.000-08:002013-01-15T16:43:06.678-08:00PVED IS COMING TO LA!<br />PVED Hosted Dinner<br /><br />PVED is coming to Southern California!<br /><br />Tuesday January 29th, 2013<br />7:00 PM<br /><br />La Grande Orange Cafe<br /><a class="bbc_link" href="http://www.lgostationcafe.com/dinner" target="_blank">http://www.lgostationcafe.com/dinner</a><br />260 S. Raymond Ave, Pasadena, CA 91105<br /> t. 626.356.4444<br /><br />Adults
only (unless you are bringing a new born), no childcare provided, leave
the kids at home and come enjoy some adult conversation.<br /><br />Marna
Gatlin, Carole LieberWilkins will be available to take your questions,
talk about topics such as disclosure, grief issues, cycle questions,
agency questions, donor questions and much much more!<br /><br />This is a
great chance to put faces to names and above all it’s free for you! All
you have to do is show up and be ready to have a great time!<br /><br />RSVP: <a class="bbc_email" href="mailto:marna@pved.org">marna@pved.org</a> by Friday Saturday, January 26th, 2012<br />503 987 1433PVEDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15193705233283347207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6093024142021646941.post-46369240832623019392013-01-11T12:34:00.001-08:002013-01-11T12:34:22.611-08:008 Embryos Blastocysts Looking For a Family.<br /><br />Our family is complete and we would like to donate our remaining embryos to a waiting family.<br /><br />Four of the eight blastocysts are frozen individually, and four of the eight have been frozen in pairs, so there are four singletons and two sets of two.<br /><br />All eight embryos are blastocysts: six are Day 5 blastocysts and two are Day 6 blastocysts. The update from the embryologist at our clinic identified that they are all considered to be good embryos -- the lab has strict standards regarding freezing and uses vitrification.<br /><br />The embryos that are frozen individually are three 4BB and one 3BB. <br />There is a pair of 3BB.<br />There is a pair of 4BB x 2, and that last pair are Day 6 blasts.<br /><br />The number corresponds to the stage of the blastocyst: 3 = a full blast and 4 = an expanded blast. The first letter is the grade the lab assigns to the Inner Cellular Mass (A = abundant compacted cell, C = minimal cell number, and B = number of cells between grades "A" and "C"). Similarly, the last component is a letter grade that the lab assigns for the Trophectoderm or outer layer of cells of the blastocyst.<br /><br />The donor had four cycles prior to ours. Each recipient family had twins, two sets from fresh transfers and two sets from frozen transfers. Our fresh cycle did not result in a pregnancy but our FET gave us a son, now over 1 year old. We chose to have a SET (single embryo transfer) which resulted in our son.<br /><br />We have a daughter from our own eggs. Her father is the sperm donor. He is three quarters Italian and one quarter Ukrainian. He has dark, curly hair and is about 5'9". He graduated from a Big Ten school and Columbia. He is a caregiver, an excellent father and loving man. He loves to play sports and run.<br /><br />The donor was 27 at the time of retrieval. She is Austrian, French, English and German. She had an ACT of 27 and took AP courses in Math and Science in high school. She has brown hair and a slender, athletic build at 5'3". She is beautiful. The clinic we worked with said she was more beautiful on the inside. She sounds like a wonderful young woman.<br /><br />We hope to connect with a married or committed couple. We welcome same sex couples. Our preference is to find a family outside of the Midwest. We want a family who hopes to have more than one child. Families with extended support systems are especially welcome. We rely very heavily on friends and family to help us raise our children. We are a very liberal Catholic family. We are interested to learn about your faith or your religious practices. You are not required to be a Christian family, but we are favoring families who have an active relationship with God.<br /><br />We want an open relationship where the children are so, so, so very welcome to reach out and meet us at the age of 18, should they choose. We do not require photos or updates over the years but welcome whatever communication the recipient family chooses to share with us<br /><br />We have photos of our son, his biological father and the donor profile to share when the time is right. We can also include a photo of our daughter, age three and a half.<br /><br />Please contact Marna Gatlin for further information:<br /><br />marna@pved.org<br />503.987.1433PVEDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15193705233283347207noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6093024142021646941.post-83470313327624223012013-01-05T08:52:00.000-08:002013-01-05T08:52:24.425-08:00A Look At PVED In 2012<br /><br />Did you know we are the largest private community online?<br /><br />Did you know that PVED assisted over <strong>9,000 </strong> intended parents and parents in 2012 with clinic and agency referrals, mental health referrals, legal referrals and other industry professional referrals?<br /><br />Did you know we answered over 18,000 pieces of email and messages in our private forum in 2012?<br /><br />Did you know we answered over 1,000 telephone calls in 2012?<br /><br />Did you know PVED assisted with over 30 embryo donation matches?<br /><br />Did you know that PVED sent out over 350 quilts and 350 books to new parents?<br /><br />Did you know that PVED is launching a brand new interactive website with three new information packed sections for our community members?<br /><br />Did you know that PVED is still a free educational and support service accessible to its members 24/7 365 days out of the year?<br /><br />We need your help -- 5, 10, 25, 50, or more whatever you feel you can give -- this money helps us do things like:<br /><br />Keep the lights on, the internet on, the website supported, books, quilts, postage, literature, PVED meetups, and helps us meet our payroll.<br /><br />Every little bit helps -- all of you could give just ten dollars that would translate into a whole lot of money!<br /><br />Give today -- we love helping you all!!<br />
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<a href="http://www.pved.org/">www.pved.org</a> click on donate at the end of the page. Or write a check and mail to:<br />
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PVED<br />
Box 597<br />
Scappoose, OR 97056<br />
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PVEDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15193705233283347207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6093024142021646941.post-12031013966384464022012-12-18T21:37:00.000-08:002012-12-18T21:37:36.834-08:00Parents Via Egg Donation (PVED) Announces New Advisory Board Members<div style="text-align: center;">
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Marna Gatlin of Parents Via Egg Donation (PVED) announced the addition of nine new advisory board members to the organization, representing both professional and consumer infertility community.</div>
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Oregon -- Free-Press-Release.com-- Dec 18, 2012 -- <span style="color: #666666; display: inline; font-size: 16px; font-weight: bold;">(Scappoose, OR: December 18, 2012): </span> Marna Gatlin, founder and CEO of Parents Via Egg Donation (PVED), announced the addition of nine new advisory board members to the organization. PVED is the nation’s leading source of education and support for parents or parents-to-be who want to build their families with the assistance of an <a href="http://www.pved.org/selectdonor.html" target="_black">egg donor</a> or other types of third party donation, including <a href="http://www.pved.org/embryodonation.html" target="_black">embryo donation</a>.<br /><br /> New advisory board members include professionals working in the <a href="http://www.pved.org/selectclinic.html" target="_black"> infertility</a> field as well as parents who have used egg donation. They include Eugene Belitsky, parent advisor; Stephanie Caballero, J.D., from <a href="http://www.surrogacy-lawyer.com/" target="_black">The Surrogacy Law Center</a>, legal advisor; Terri Davidson of <a href="http://www.terridavidsoncommunications.com/" target="_black">Davidson Communications</a>, marketing advisor; Amy Demma, JD, from the <a href="http://www.lawofficesofamydemma.com/" target="_black">Law offices of Amy Demma</a>, legal advisor; Steven Lazarus, J.D., from <a href="http://www.swlfamilyformationlaw.com/" target="_black">Steven W. Lazarus Family Formation Law</a>, legal advisor; Jacqlyn Rough, marketing director at <a href="http://www.havingbabies.com/" target="_black">Huntington Reproductive Center</a>, marketing advisor; Dr. Craig Sweet, founder and medical director of <a href="http://www.embryodonation.com/" target="_black">Embryo Donation International</a>, physician advisor; Sue Taylor, founder of <a href="http://www.ivftraveler.com/" target="_black">IVF Traveler</a>, IVF Abroad Advisor; and Kelley Wendel, parent advisor. They join current advisory members who represent surrogacy and egg donation agencies, infertility clinics, and the mental health and financial professions <br /><br /> Says Ms. Gatlin: "I am extraordinarily excited about working with some of the infertility field’s heavy hitters and experts in their respective disciplines as well as egg donor parents who can impart their wisdom to others who are walking in their shoes. I see amazing things happening for PVED in 2013 and beyond as we try to serve our members in more effective and innovative ways. I couldn't ask for a better board to help us achieve these goals."<br /><br /> For more information about PVED, visit <a href="http://www.pved.org/" target="_black">www.pved.org</a>.<br /><br /><span style="color: #666666; display: inline; font-size: 16px; font-weight: bold;">About Parents Via Egg Donation (PVED) </span>: Established in 2008, Parents Via Egg Donation, or PVED, is a nonprofit organization created to provide an informational and supportive environment where parents and parents-to-be can learn and share information about all facets of the egg donation process. Its mission is to educate, support, and empower families and individuals at any stage of the process who choose to use egg donation to build a family. It shares information about agencies, legal and medical professionals, treatment centers, mental health therapists, pharmaceutical companies, and other resources.</div>
PVEDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15193705233283347207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6093024142021646941.post-81938429150579957562012-11-13T13:08:00.001-08:002012-11-13T13:14:17.144-08:00Oregon Reproductive Medicine Is Coming To Seattle!<br />
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Oregon Reproductive Medicine is coming to Seattle. Dr. Barbieri will be in downtown Seattle, January 26 & 27 for complimentary meetings with interested patients. Get to know the doctor, more about ORM and bring your questions.<br />
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After fully-booked trips to San Francisco and New York City<br />
we've decided to head to The Emerald City</div>
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Complimentary Private Meetings with Dr. Elizabeth Barbieri</h3>
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SEATTLE, WA<br />
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Saturday, January 26 and Sunday, January 27</h4>
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Dr. Barbieri, a board certified reproductive endocrinologist at Oregon Reproductive Medicine,<br />
will be in Seattle, WA meeting with prospective patients on January 26 and 27.</div>
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Private and complimentary consultations are being scheduled now.</div>
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Downtown Hotel Conference Room TBA</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
These appointments are filled on a first-come-first-served basis.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Bring your questions and discuss your options with one of the leading physicians working in the field of infertility.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Request an appointment via email to Jonathan Kipp, Director of Marketing</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="mailto:jkipp@portlandivf.net">jkipp@portlandivf.net</a></div>
<h4 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><a href="http://www.oregonreproductivemedicine.com/pages/page/545" target="_blank">Oregon Reprodutive Medicine</a></span></span></h4>
<br />PVEDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15193705233283347207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6093024142021646941.post-68199491146166424472012-11-05T10:20:00.001-08:002012-11-05T10:21:02.870-08:00PVED Wants You To Like Them!Hi everyone -<br />
<br />
PVED is attempting to go more mainstream -- be noticed, and get the word out what we do for intended parents all over the globe.<br />
<br />
We need your help-<br />
<br />
Go to our facebook page and like us! <br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;"><b><a href="https://www.facebook.com/parentsviaeggdonation">https://www.facebook.com/parentsviaeggdonation</a></b></span><br />
<br />
The more readership the bigger the reach to PVED parents all over the world!<br />
<br />
Go like us today! <br />
<br />
<br />PVEDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15193705233283347207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6093024142021646941.post-32971102540199124022012-11-04T09:13:00.001-08:002012-11-04T09:13:56.659-08:00Yes Virginia, Orgasms are Important<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Women who are going through IVF
have a reduced libido and also report feeling less satisfied in their
relationships in general, the researchers found from a</span><a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2225821/IVF-kill-libido--make-happy-relationship.html?ito=feeds-newsxml"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">
study conducted at Indiana University.</span></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This study confirmed the stress of treatment often has a negative effect
on a couple’s sex life. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And so if this study has found
that this is happening in the USA – who’s not to say it’s not happening all
over the globe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Women are women – and
infertile women have this sisterhood, we all stick together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So it makes sense that our infertile sister
in the<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>UK, China, Japan, India, The
Ukraine, The Czech Republic -<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>all of
Europe for that matter, Australia, New Zealand, Turkey, etc…. are probably
feeling and experiencing a lot of the same things.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The first question for those
with no fertility issues is “How come?” or “Why”?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The answer from a woman who
knows and who has trekked through the infertility jungle to have a child in a
word:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Stress” and the other word that
comes to mind “pressure”.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The George Michael tune – </span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vldh7oQD-a4"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">“I want your sex”</span></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> says it
all:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It's natural<br />
It's chemical (let's do it)<br />
It's logical<br />
Habitual (can we do it?)<br />
It's sensual<br />
But most of all...<br />
Sex is something we should do<br />
Sex is something for me and you<br />
<br />
Sex is natural - sex is good<br />
Not everybody does it<br />
But everybody should<br />
Sex is natural - sex is fun<br />
Sex is best when it's... One on one<br />
One on one</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">However, as an infertility patient all of “that” (the
fun) is taken out of sex for many reasons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And because I am a fair minded woman let’s start with the guys.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Even during the initial phases of infertility treatment
the testing that men go through is mainly blood tests, semen analysis, and on
some occasion an ultrasound of the testicles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That seems pretty straight forward doesn’t it—and I know from conversations
with men who have undergone testicular ultrasounds, they aren’t terribly
unpleasant and if you think about it why would they?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What becomes annoying and sometimes
embarrassing is the semen analysis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There’s just something about going into a room that everyone knows the
purpose for, masturbating on command into a little sterile cup, sliding the cup
through the little two-way breeze way, and then conducting the walk of shame
through the lobby of your fertility clinic, hoping to God you don’t have to
look the rather perky receptionist in the face as you go to your car and
knowing that you will most likely have to be repeating this semen analysis more
than once during treatment.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sex will take on a whole new meaning for most men.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It will mean sex on <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">command “Honey my I am ovulating, hurry home, we have TO DO IT
NOW!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The window of opportune time is
very SMALL!” </i>And for a lot of men performing on command and rising to the
occasion when all eyes are on the prize can be incredibly difficult.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Let’s face it – women are wired differently than men. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most of us don’t just look at our partners and
instantly get turned on, it’s a process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We are like race cars; we have to be warmed up when we take our
respective poll positions in the reproductive race to have a baby.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Timed intercourse” is the pits – the days or nights of
going out for dinner, having a few drinks, coming home, turning on Marvin Gaye
and “Let’s get it on” are over.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gone are
the nights of multiple orgasms and making love in every room in your house, or
even reaching out and having sex more than once a night!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sex now revolves around calendars, schedules,
medications, and that all important timing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Gotta love timing.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I can remember when I began down this path the first few
times of timed intercourse it was kind of a novelty – We were a united, we
wanted to have a baby, we were taking one for the team, we laughed the first
two or three times – but my mind wasn’t present and I wasn’t focused on my
partner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The conversation that ran
through my head went something like this:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Okay – Sperm! Sperm !<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>go in the right direction, connect with my egg(s), let’s make a baby,
will this be the night I conceive?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Please God, make this the night we make a baby!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I would chant this mantra over and over
in my head as I went through the motions like a robot hoping to get to the
finish line of orgasm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And not having an
orgasm – which just plain sucks.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">As time went on we began to dread the timed intercourse
sessions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First of all I knew during
fertility treatment alcohol is a no-no, so there would be no more glasses of
wine to enjoy together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No more fun
enhancement products like “sex butter” (the vagina’s enivornment cannot not be
altered if sperm are to go from point A to point B through the least path of
resistance)—and honestly, if I heard Marvin Gaye one more time I’d kill
someone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All of my fun lingerie I
tossed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was more like “Okay, let’s
just do it and get it over with.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I began
to resent my partner because he always had the “happy ending” (orgasm) and I
often times didn’t my mind was too focused on whether or not “this would be the
night I conceive”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I became depressed
and each month when it was clear I wasn’t pregnant the idea of having to have
sex AGAIN was just such a drag.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The drugs we ladies take during infertility treatment can
wreck the libido of the most highly sexed individuals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lupron for instance catapults most women
hormonally into a chemical menopause.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
become foggy brained, every orifice in our bodies becomes dry, our libido
crashes, we often develop headaches and become crabby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hormones change dramatically during IVF
treatments, which is a big reason for changes in sexual desires of many women.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">For those of us who take any sort of Gondatropins to
create eggs – I can’t even begin to articulate what a pain in the neck this part
is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Injections every day, feeling
bloated, weight gain, mood swings, and just over all feeling gross.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once that phase of the IVF cycle is over then
it’s retrieval time which is a surgical procedure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And of course, no sex after surgery – the
reality is you won’t be having sex for a long time.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We all know the elixir of the woman’s body is estrogen
and when we begin replenishing our bodies of this much needed hormone through
our IVF cycle and <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>our libidos often
return for a brief time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, if we
are undergoing an embryo transfer spontaneous sex is off the table once again
until a pregnancy has been established.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So even if we do feel like jumping our partners bones we now can’t.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s all so frustrating and frankly by now we are exhausted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We just want a damn baby right?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">No one told us that we’d take a hit to our sex lives or
that I might feel differently about my partner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Honestly, I am not sure I’d have paid much attention because my main
focus was on having a baby.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">However, if I were doing it all over again I think I’d
have more conversations with my partner about the potential pit falls in
regards to an all important part of our life as a couple which is sex.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It keeps us connected and on the same page
about so many things emotionally.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, if you find your libido taking a hit and not feeling
as randy as you might why don’t you check in with your partner, do what you can
to keep it spontaneous, but really as a couple keep talking, communication
through something as stressful as IVF is truly the key.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span>PVEDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15193705233283347207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6093024142021646941.post-86001643067002278372012-09-27T09:54:00.003-07:002012-09-27T09:55:34.301-07:00Dr. John Hesla to Provide Complimentary Consultations*** PVED recognizes Dr. John Hesla as one of the most talented, leading on the cutting edge of medicine physicians that we as organization have ever encountered. This is an exciting opportunity -- don't miss it.<br />
<br />
NEW YORK CITY, NY<br />
November 11th and 12th<br />
<br />
Dr. John Hesla, a board certified reproductive endocrinologist at Oregon Reprouctive Medicine, will be in New York City, NY meeting with prospective patients on November 11th and 12th, 2012.<br />
<br />
Private and complimentary consultations are being scheduled now.<br />
Sunday, October 7, 1 p.m. - 6 p.m.<br />
Tuesday, October 8, 9 a.m - 5 p.m.<br />
<br />
Mid-town Hotel Conference Room TBA<br />
These appointments are filled on a first-come-first-served basis.<br />
Bring your questions and discuss your options with one of the leading physicians working in the field of infertility.<br />
<br />
Request an appointment by email or phone.<br />
Jonathan Kipp, scheduler<br />
<a href="mailto:jkipp@portlandivf.net">jkipp@portlandivf.net</a><br />
503-243-4938PVEDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15193705233283347207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6093024142021646941.post-11298424742004184702012-09-04T14:16:00.004-07:002012-09-04T14:16:40.586-07:00PFC LA is Seeking Couples For Egg Factor!<div>
<strong>Egg Factor</strong> is a ground breaking docu-series being produced to shed some much needed light on the world of infertility & egg donation. A world which exists below the radar of most yet contains the hopes and dreams of many. Hopes of becoming a parent and dreams of forming a family, what most people feel automatically entitled to – those whose hopes are forsaken feel isolated in this world, robbed of procreating; this very basic rite of our human experience. To have reached this point, the majority have already been through rigorous cycles of IVF, failed pregnancies and years of living in a constant state of emotional and physical agony. Yet, beyond all the pain, they seem to see the light once again and with the incredible generosity of egg donors, these hopes and dreams can become a reality.<span id="more-2950"></span></div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
Through documenting these incredible stories, the producers of this docu-series seeks to raise awareness, and share valuable insight so the general public as well as the many going through infertility can understand and accept their options. They want to also reveal the myth behind the egg donors, their motivation and sacrifice as they go through this journey.</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
As film makers and producers, they are aware of what sells and they decided early on not to sell out. Their commitment is steadfast and genuine. Clearly, they have demonstrated that they are aware of the sensitivity of this topic and have a very caring and capable team producing this series. </div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
<div>
The behind the scenes team consists of women who’ve been donors themselves, women who’ve gone through multiple IVF cycles, women who’ve used egg donors to become pregnant, and even women who’ve had accidental pregnancies the old fashion way… And of course the men who’ve supported us all through thick and thin and continue to do so along with the doctor who has made it all possible.</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
We are very proud to announce that Dr. Vic Sahakian of Pacific Fertility Center is the main physician for <strong>Egg Factor</strong>. Dr. Sahakian specializes in treating patients with advanced maternal age including postmenopausal women seeking infertility treatment through egg donation. He is responsible for the oldest woman on record to have given birth at the age of 67.</div>
<div>
</div>
<section><div>
<div>
<div>
And here comes the most exciting part of all, if you are seeking egg donation:</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
Dr. Sahakian has generously agreed to <span style="text-decoration: underline;">reduce his fee by 75%</span> for participating intended parents willing to share their experience.</div>
<div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</section><div>
Gifted Journeys is the donor agency for <strong>Egg Factor</strong>.<strong><a href="http://www.giftedjourneys.com/"> www.giftedjourneys.com</a></strong></div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
Wendie Wilson-Miller, the Founder and CEO of Gifted Journeys is also a founding member of Society for Ethics in Egg Donation and Surrogacy (SEEDS) and the co-author of the book <strong><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Insiders-Guide-Donation-Compassionate-Parents-/dp/1936303302/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1346793343&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=The+insiduers+guide+to+egg+donation+Wendie+Wilson" target="_blank">The Insider’s Guide to Egg Donation: A Compassionate and Comprehensive Guide for all Parents-to-Be.</a></strong></div>
<div>
<strong></strong> </div>
<div>
Wendie has been a multiple egg donor herself, and is now thrilled to share her life with her husband and 18 month old son.</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
Gifted journeys believes that <em>love</em>- not marital status, sexual orientation, ethnic background or finances – is what truly makes a family.They donate a large portion of profits to several charitable organizations as well as offer discounts to cancer survivors, teachers and those who work as police, firemen or military. In support of Egg Factor, they’ll be <span style="text-decoration: underline;">waiving their entire agency fee</span> for participating prospective parents willing to share their journeys with others.</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
In short, <strong>Egg Factor</strong> is a passion project for all involved & at PFC LA, we are confident it will be a fantastic journey for the participants to have this very unique part of their lives be documented.</div>
</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
We’re seeking f<span style="color: #070707;">amilies of all types — traditional couples and LGBT families, as well as single parents — to participate in sharing the ups and downs and ins and outs of the egg donation process from start to finish.</span></div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<span style="color: #070707;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #070707;">* Substantially reduced medical costs (up to 75%) </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #070707;">* Waived agency fees </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #070707;">* Discounted pharmaceuticals</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #070707;"> Will be offered to participating prospective parents.<br /> Certain procedures and donor fees will still need to be payed, so only serious intended parents in pursuit of a real opportunity must apply.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #070707;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #070707;">Please send a cover letter with your story,</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #070707;">Your specific problems and needs,</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #070707;">Pictures and or video to:</span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div>
<a href="mailto:info@AleraEnterprises.com">info@AleraEnterprises.com</a> </div>
</div>
<div>
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<strong><em>Egg Factor</em></strong><em> is a docu-series that will crack open the world of Egg Donation and shed light on this taboo subject by putting real human faces to incredible stories while raising the ethical bar of genetic science, physical biology and the relentless nature of the human spirit which will soar beyond all challenges to create a </em><strong><em>family</em></strong><em>.</em></div>
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PVEDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15193705233283347207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6093024142021646941.post-45775215492935132512012-08-15T10:12:00.000-07:002012-08-15T10:12:06.709-07:00 Seeking Intended Parents for Docu-SeriesA groundbreaking documentary series is currently being produced to present a compassionate and honest portrayal of the unique challenges and joys of creating a family through egg donation!<br />
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We are seeking families of all types -- traditional couples and LGBT families, as well as single parents -- to participate in sharing the ups and downs and ins and outs of the egg donation process from start to finish.<br />
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Participating intended parents will also be offered:<br />
* Substantially reduced medical costs (up to 75%) <br />
* Waived egg donation agency fees, and<br />
* Discounted pharmaceuticals <br />
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Certain procedures and donor fees will still need to be paid, so only serious intended parents in pursuit of a real opportunity must apply.<br />
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Please send contact information, photos and/or video and your story (including specific problems and needs regarding this process) to: <b><a class="bbc_email" href="mailto:info@aleraenterprises.com">info@aleraenterprises.com</a>, Subject title: ED Docu-Series</b>PVEDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15193705233283347207noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6093024142021646941.post-86793721220171329592012-08-10T10:06:00.001-07:002012-08-10T10:08:29.233-07:00Defending My Donor Egg & Donor Sperm Family – Part 2<em>***Please note: The information, views, and opinions contained and expressed by Kelley Wendell guest blogger for Parents Via Egg Donation are those of Kelley Wendell and do not necessairly reflect the views or opinions of Parents Via Egg Donation.</em><br />
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This blog is a three part series, you may read part one <br />
here titled:<strong><em><a href="http://tpvedo.blogspot.com/2012/04/defending-my-donor-egg-donor-sperm.html" target="_blank"> Defending my donor egg & donor sperm family</a></em></strong><br />
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By Kelley Wendell<br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">As another election season approaches, Americans are called upon to weigh their personal values and opinions with that of two opposing candidates.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are to decide which philosophy best meets our needs and ideals, which candidate we trust to deliver on our chosen principles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many of us are firmly grounded in certain aspects of our personal and political perspectives, but we are somewhat undecided about others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is the undecided points that become the focus of debates with each side arguing their perspectives in hopes of persuading votes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I had mentioned in my last blog, this is exactly the type of polarizing conflict that creates a ripe climate for debate; us versus them, so-to-speak.</span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">As a mother of twins conceived with both donor eggs and donor sperm, I obviously choose to advocate in favor of assisted reproduction rights.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But more importantly and first priority, it is my obligation to advocate for the emotional and social well being of my children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And yes, there are opponents out there who threaten it; some with seemingly convincing arguments and data.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of the most notable that comes to mind is a sociological study of survey methodology conducted by Elizabeth Marquardt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mrs. Marquardt is the editor of FamilyScholars.org and vice president for family studies and the director of the Center for Marriage and Families at the Institute for American Values.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her study is entitled <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My Daddy’s Name is Donor </i>(full document at </span><a href="http://www.familyscholars.org/assets/Donor_FINAL.pdf"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman;">http://www.familyscholars.org/assets/Donor_FINAL.pdf</span></a><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although the experimental design is fairly sound and results are presented in clear percentages with statistical analysis, a lack of clear definitions within the survey and subjective researcher interpretation renders the study’s scientific merit suspect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Additionally, the conclusions are extrapolated conjecture while biased terminology and anecdotal assertions are present throughout the entire article.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The intent of this blog is to debate and refute Mrs. Marquardt’s findings and claims, many of which are downright offensive and potentially detrimental to my children and other families like mine. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">*It is important to note that this study only surveyed and compared adult <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">sperm </i>donor offspring against both adopted and bio-raised adults.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But Mrs. Marquardt repeatedly extrapolates her findings to also include egg donor offspring and goes on to attack donor gamete practices in general.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thus, this study is also applicable to the donor egg community and doubly applicable to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Terminology and Language</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">The negative flavor of the entire document becomes readily evident by opening with a horrific, century old example of artificial insemination in which even the recipient was unaware.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Though this account dates back to 1884 and no similar current day practices are cited, the author ignores the story’s irrelevance in the interest of emotional manipulation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the author’s bias truly takes shape when she reveals her terminology for identifying the men in the sperm donor/recipient relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First appearing on page 17, the sperm donor is identified as the “father”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the man who desired the child, consented to being a donor recipient with his partner, and loves and raises the child for its entire lifetime is identified as the “social father”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of the survey questions posed to the donor conceived respondents involved a list of possible indentifying titles to describe the sperm donor; the respondents were encouraged to check all that apply.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Page 91 of the study reveals that donor offspring characterized their donor purely as “father/dad” only 21% of the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet a full 98% of the respondents found it suitable to place a qualifier such as “genetic” or “biological” before the word father.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The titles of “donor/seed giver/genetic contributor” and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">secondary</i> qualifications of “father” were selected the overwhelming majority of the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In addition, this particular question did not differentiate between donor offspring raised in a heterosexual parented family and those raised by a single mother or lesbian parented family, as it does for other questions within the survey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is reasonable to assume that some, or possibly all, of those who chose to use the term “father” standing on its own were offspring who did not have a father physically in the home by comparison.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Absent and irresponsible “deadbeat fathers” are an unfortunate reality in our society.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Public consensus seems to be that such men are spineless, deplorable, and are in no way entitled to the privilege of being called “father”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am inclined to agree, emphatically so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But when a man shares his genetic material with a couple or woman accompanied by a legally binding contract stipulating that he chooses, even mandates, to relinquish any personal, legal, or emotional accountability toward potential offspring, Mrs. Marquardt gives him top billing as the “father”?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Furthermore, the respondents in this study were not even offered the equivalent opportunity to characterize the sperm recipient, the man who raised them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet Mrs. Marquardt takes the audacious liberty of labeling him with the subordinate title of “social father”; this is Ms. Marquardt’s choice of words, not the respondents’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>According to her ideology, I am my sons’ “social mother” and my husband is their “social father”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I assure you, Mrs. Marquardt, we did not endure years of loss and infertility, weather a high risk pregnancy, lovingly deliver and raise our sons—inclusive of nursing/breast pumping, midnight feedings, dirty diapers, vomit clean-up, health worries, nurturing, disciplining, educating, clothing, feeding, saving for college, and every other FULLY invested hallmark of parenting and unconditional love that can possibly be bestowed upon children—in the hopes that they will someday include us in their “social circle” on Facebook!</span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Anecdotal Accounts</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My Daddy’s Name is Donor</i> is filled with various accounts of unhealthy family relationships and damaged self-esteem that resulted from poor or complete lack of honest disclosure regarding conception.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The stories are indeed heart rendering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one, myself included, likes the idea of children feeling deceived and/or misplaced as a result of their parents’ choices to keep the circumstance of their conception secret.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course donor offspring are entitled to know as much as possible about their genetic histories and the manner in which they were welcomed to their families.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But this does not mean that cases of mismanagement are the benchmark by which the practice of donor conception ought to be evaluated in general.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sadly, some of the offspring quoted in the article are so hurt by their families’ actions that they denounce assisted reproduction, even though they would not be alive without it.</span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Lindsay Greenawalt is noted on page 24 as saying, <em>“Children are being created without any thought that a human being is involved in this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is simply a business transaction between our parents, the doctor, and the anonymous donor, with no regard to the child.”</em><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><em> </em> </span>This could not be further from the truth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is impossible to be cast into the domain of the fertility impaired, typically after a lengthy pattern of devastating losses, without giving it much thought in the first place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is nothing but the highest regard for both the children lost and mourned and the children yet to be sought.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">On page 23 Christine Whipp is quoted as writing, <em>“My existence owed almost nothing to the serendipitous nature of normal human reproduction, where babies are the natural progression of fulfilling adult relationships, …”.</em><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again, this is a gross oversimplification of the emotional journey that leads a couple or woman to choosing donor conception.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As previously mentioned, a great deal of mourning precedes assisted reproduction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is the mourning of lost babies, the mourning of a normal reproductive course that others enjoy with such ease, and the mourning that the parents experience when they realize that they must let go of their own genetic connection if they are to conceive and deliver a child.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is an identity and relationship crisis to say the least.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the amount of love that is required to overcome it, to set aside pride for the joint goal of shared parenthood, to embark on a lifelong journey of surrendering our hearts to one another and to a child is paramount.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Despite the losses that donor recipient parents endure, we care more about endowing children with love than endowing them with our genetics.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We love looking into our children’s eyes and nurturing the wonder that is reflected in them far more than any desire to look into their eyes seeking a reflection of ourselves. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Make no mistake, Ms. Whipp, a great deal of contemplation and love went into the decision to conceive you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You are the product of a selfless act of love, not a selfish one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Ms. Whipp is also quoted on page 58 as saying, <em>“Donor conception cannot be practiced ‘nicely’ or ‘humanely’ in a way that does not have any negative impact on the people it creates. It must be the only medical treatment for which somebody other than the patient has to suffer.” </em>On page 80 Mrs. Marquardt agrees and states such in the recommendations section of her study: <em>“In no other area of medicine does the ‘treatment’ have such enormous potential implications for the persons who themselves never sought out that treatment (that is, the donor offspring).”</em> Again, this is a misguided perspective and flagrant manufacture of fact. There definitely are other physician guided health care choices that people make for themselves which carry the potential to negatively impact their offspring. Conceiving to create a sibling with the potential to be an organ/marrow donor for the first child is one example [medical domain: oncology]. Deciding to proceed with a compromised pregnancy against expert medical advice, thus ensuring a short and likely sufferable life for the offspring (anencephaly, profound organ hypertrophy, etc.) is another [medical domains: obstetrics and neonatology]. And there are health care choices inflicted on offspring post-birth that address parental preferences as opposed to the child’s medical needs (circumcision) [medical domain: neonatology and pediatrics]. But of course, the most notable medical choice for oneself that profoundly affects the offspring is abortion [medical domain: obstetrics]. By comparison, or even standing on its own, it is difficult to swallow the notion that a healthy birth and existence within a loving but genetically unrelated family is in and of itself cause for “suffering”. </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><strong><em>*Note: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Neither the author nor PVED wish to express an opinion on the aforementioned issues.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are merely presented to illustrate the fallacy in the researcher’s assertions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is also interesting to note that many donor recipients choose donor conception to avoid imparting a congenital defect on another human being.</em></strong><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Questionable Statistics and Interpretations</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Several findings and interpretations cited in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My Daddy’s Name is Donor</i> are suitably subject to scrutiny, but to address them all would create a document as lengthy as the research paper in question, 135 pages.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thus, I will focus on just three.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>According to Mrs. Marquardt’s survey, donor offspring are more likely to have problems with the law (no definition is provided: citation or arrest? misdemeanor or felony?), engage in substance abuse, and be clinically depressed (see pages 37 & 115).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The study shows that the statistical variation holds true even when controlling for age, gender, race and socioeconomic factors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, when controlling for the critical factor of disclosure practices we see that the higher overall rates are driven by the manner in which this information was shared.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those with open and honest parents who informed them of their genetic origin before the age of twelve fared far better than those whose parents tried to keep it a secret; they even fared better than those whose parents shared openly but did so after the age of twelve.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even Mrs. Marquardt concedes that open honesty with a “tell early and tell often” approach produces better outcomes (pg. 54-55) and even recommends this practice in her conclusions (pg. 79).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mrs. Marquardt goes on to point out though that even the best donor statistics show a higher propensity for delinquency, dependency, and depression when compared to bio-raised adults.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, nowhere in this study did I see any consideration given to geographical location of the respondents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The social climate 20-30+ years ago for a donor conceived child raised by lesbian parents in Dubuque, Iowa would have been a very different climate than that of a similar child in San Francisco, California.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seems plausible, if not probable, that geography could have played a significant role in the social justice experience, and thus the emotional well-being, of the respondents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Page 57 reveals that only 11% donor conceived respondents believe “donor conception is hard on children even when parents tell them the truth”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mrs. Marquardt acknowledges that this is a small percentage but identifies it to be a negative outcome.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, there is no definition of “hard” in the questionnaire or the conclusion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Does “hard” mean it took a considerable amount of time to emotionally come to terms with their conception; does it mean that it seems impossible to emotionally digest; does it infer a sense of awkwardness in the disclosure discussion?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Divorce, normal sibling rivalry, step-siblings and family blending, puberty, adolescent socialization, and even algebra are all “hard” for children even when handled well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And here’s the really interesting part: why were <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">all</b> of the donor conceived respondents asked to evaluate the difficulty of being a donor conceived child <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">based on the truth telling practices of parents</i> when 20% admit their parents attempted to keep it a secret and only 59% received the recommended approach of consistent and open honesty?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seems to me that this 11% statistic is an unexpectedly positive finding since 20% of the respondents had the most discouraged experience and additional 21% had a less than ideal disclosure (page 86).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Similarly, page 99 reveals the results to the question, “What is your opinion of donor conception?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only 7% of donor conceived respondents oppose it (4% somewhat & 3% strongly); whereas 15% of adopted and 18% of bio-raised respondents oppose it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If donor conception is so objectionable to the offspring; if “this study suggests there are serious possible harms and risks associated with being conceived with donor sperm” (page 49), then shouldn’t the opposition rate expressed by donor conceived adults be much higher?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Additionally, the statistical occurrence of personality disorders including paranoid, schizoid, dissocial, emotionally unstable, histrionic, anxious, eccentric, immature, narcissistic, and passive-aggressive behaviors is 9% (</span><a href="http://www.nimh.nih.gov/science-news/2007/national-survey-tracks-prevalence-of-personality-disorders-in-us-population.shtml"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman;">http://www.nimh.nih.gov/science-news/2007/national-survey-tracks-prevalence-of-personality-disorders-in-us-population.shtml</span></a><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By comparison, a 7% dissention rate seems optimistically small, or at the very least statistically insignificant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In other words, one should expect a few negative responses to even the most positive issue; and this study also only produced a few. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Last on my list of questionable conclusions is Mrs. Marquardt’s recommendation on page 78 that donor conception be treated like adoption, inclusive of the “rigorous array of laws and practices…designed to explicitly protect the best interest of the child…”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The data presented to support this claim is, well, none.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This study did not investigate the prevalence of child abuse or unfit parenting within the donor conceived community; nor does it cite data from any other source on the topic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, Mrs. Marquardt spends a lengthy portion of her paper (pages 71-75) describing all the ways in which donor conception is NOT like adoption.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She, of course, argues that it is worse for the child than adoption which is why she recommends parental screening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But again, she offers no solid evidence, not even anecdotal evidence, to validate this assertion.</span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Conclusion</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Although assisted reproduction is certainly an issue I support and fiercely defend, I do concede that it is an ethically complex issue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Though I feel confident and secure in my perspectives, many wrestle with the empirical rightness or wrongness of donor conception.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Research regarding the emotional and social health outcomes for donor offspring is absolutely appropriate, welcomed in fact.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And Mrs. Marquardt’s study does illuminate some valid donor offspring concerns and reinforces the beneficial practice of “telling early and telling often”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She makes some worthy points about degree of donor anonymity and advocates for organizations such as the Donor Sibling Registry (</span><a href="http://www.donorsiblingregistry.com/"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman;">www.donorsiblingregistry.com</span></a><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">) for offspring who do wish to reach out to possible genetic connections.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This issue continues to be a topic of healthy debate within the infertility community and it is my sincere hope that we continue to learn and thrive as donor families as a result.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">But when it comes down to that empirical rightness or wrongness of donor conception, Mrs. Marquardt’s questionable statistics and ambiguous responses leading to biased conclusions add up to nothing more than conjecture.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Politics are a two-sided coin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And politics regarding assisted reproduction are no different; they hinge on the amount of trust that can be placed in the data presented and the person espousing it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Despite a few valid points, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My Daddy’s Name is Donor</i> fails to produce data as compelling as Mrs. Marquardt would like us to believe. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">-Kelley Wendel, RN, BSN, & most importantly, MOM <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Birds-Different-Feather-Kelley-Wendel/dp/1617771872" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUVrqccJMa-q0poTns1zql-vP8EWyJdcTHXyI5JXmPrTkjTQmd5EfSLLiWB8k2LnQrdiQVV6m05J3aAUKHDwx9wL8HTyksswwlIQaAmFDgCk9xyyZGgrhTq9SD0rcO3vgR-MNLDFjVBUE/s1600/bodf.jpg" /></a></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUVrqccJMa-q0poTns1zql-vP8EWyJdcTHXyI5JXmPrTkjTQmd5EfSLLiWB8k2LnQrdiQVV6m05J3aAUKHDwx9wL8HTyksswwlIQaAmFDgCk9xyyZGgrhTq9SD0rcO3vgR-MNLDFjVBUE/s1600/bodf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUVrqccJMa-q0poTns1zql-vP8EWyJdcTHXyI5JXmPrTkjTQmd5EfSLLiWB8k2LnQrdiQVV6m05J3aAUKHDwx9wL8HTyksswwlIQaAmFDgCk9xyyZGgrhTq9SD0rcO3vgR-MNLDFjVBUE/s1600/bodf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><div style="text-align: left;"></div></a><div style="text-align: left;"></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="color: #202020; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Kelley Wendel is the author of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Birds of a Different Feather</i>, a children’s book designed to instill a </span>prideful sense of self and celebrate family inclusion regardless of genetic history.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Birds of a Different Feather </i>is endorsed and recommended by Parents Via Egg Donation (PVED), Donor Offspring: Books for Children, Creating A Family, and Adoption.com.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To learn more about the author and the book, visit:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><a href="http://www.kelleywendel.tateauthor.com/"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman;">www.kelleywendel.tateauthor.com</span></a><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Follow me on Twitter and Facebook; links available through the website.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin: 1em 0px;"><span style="mso-no-proof: yes;"><v:shapetype coordsize="21600,21600" filled="f" id="_x0000_t75" o:preferrelative="t" o:spt="75" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" stroked="f"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> <v:stroke joinstyle="miter"> <v:formulas> <v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0"> <v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0"> <v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1"> <v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2"> <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth"> <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight"> <v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1"> <v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2"> <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth"> <v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0"> <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight"> <v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0"> </v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:formulas> <v:path gradientshapeok="t" o:connecttype="rect" o:extrusionok="f"> <o:lock aspectratio="t" v:ext="edit"> </o:lock></v:path></v:stroke></span></v:shapetype><v:shape alt="Description: birds cover.jpg" id="Picture_x0020_2" o:spid="_x0000_i1025" style="height: 294.6pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 225pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> <v:imagedata o:title="birds cover" src="file:///C:\Users\Marna\AppData\Local\Temp\OICE_FD3249B5-7ABE-4B2C-BA2A-0DEC1A1843CC.0\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.jpg"> </v:imagedata></span></v:shape></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span>PVEDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15193705233283347207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6093024142021646941.post-1553451165573967482012-08-06T10:49:00.000-07:002012-08-06T10:49:38.972-07:00Come Meet Dr. Bankowski in San Francisco !!Hey kids - This just off the presses!<br />
<br />
Dr. Brandon Bankowski, a board certified reproductive endocrinologist at Oregon<br />
Reprouctive Medicine, will be in San Francisco, CA meeting with prospective patients on <strong>October 7th and 8th, 2012.</strong><br />
<br />
Private and complimentary consultations are being scheduled now.<br />
<br />
<strong>Sunday, October 7, 2 p.m. - 6 p.m.<br />
Monday, October 8, 9 a.m - 4:30 p.m.</strong><br />
<strong>Sir Francis Drake Hotel</strong><br />
Private Conference Room<br />
450 Powell st.<br />
San Francisco, CA 94102<br />
<br />
These appointments are filled on a first-come-first-served basis.<br />
<br />
Bring your questions and discuss your options with one of the leading physicians working in the field of infertility.<br />
<br />
Request an appointment by email or phone.<br />
<br />
<strong>Jonathan Kipp, scheduler</strong><a href="mailto:jkipp@portlandivf.net"><strong>jkipp@portlandivf.net</strong></a><strong> <br />
503-243-4938</strong><br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>PVEDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15193705233283347207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6093024142021646941.post-80477170679771379492012-07-27T15:14:00.000-07:002012-07-27T15:14:50.216-07:00Parents Via Egg Donation's Take on Insider's Guide To Egg Donation<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Many many years ago when I was first embarking upon having a child through egg donation I was just plain overwhelmed and scared.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t know where to begin and I found myself just flailing in my search.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was one book out there that frankly was so dry and scary that I found myself more frustrated than ever.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Over the years since PVED’s inception we’ve helped many many intended parents and parents alike through their journey to become Mom’s and Dad’s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, we knew hands down there wasn’t a book published that could offer an intended parent a good firm start on something so extraordinary and often complicated.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><strong>Until now.</strong></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">It’s about time that we now have a book on the market that explains all about egg donation in a way that doesn’t seem scary, freak us out, or cause our brains to explode from way too much information!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">I can finally refer all of my intended parents to the <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><u><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Insiders-Guide-Donation-Compassionate-Parents-/dp/1936303302/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1343421250&sr=8-1&keywords=wendie+wilson+insiders+guide"><span style="color: blue;">Insider’s Guide to Egg Donation</span></a></u></i></b> by Wendie Wilson-Miller and Erika Napolentano.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This book is clear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s concise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s unbiased.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">There are hints, suggestions, checklists, and they even highlight segments that allow you the reader to go back over those parts that are most important to you for each section.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">What I love the most about any book are the real life stories, letters, and comments that are shared throughout any book and this book has them all! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Aside from this being a warm book, it’s accurate, up to date, and not overly complicated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s simple, to the point, and really if this is the only book you find to read on egg donation this is the book for you as I guarantee you will walk away from this book and understand the egg donation process from A to Z.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">The nerdy part of me has to mention that the appendix and the glossary are amazing features.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have mine on my Ipad and refer to it regularly in my daily job talking to thousands of intended parents yearly who are just embarking on egg donation.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">This book is a fantastic guide and I think will help support many many intended parents and parents for many years!<br />
<br />
Great work ladies – you have so much to be proud of.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What an fabulous contribution to the world of third party reproduction!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">We at Parents Via Egg Donation are extremely happy and proud of the work you have accomplished.<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /> <br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /> </span></div>PVEDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15193705233283347207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6093024142021646941.post-64340333131141444662012-06-11T12:58:00.000-07:002012-06-11T12:58:40.463-07:00I Am Your ChildMy son is going to be 12 this year. How is that possible? Almost thirteen years ago we were overwhelmed with selecting an egg donor, hanging on to every word our Reproductive Endocrinologist said, and embarking upon the journey of a lifetime. Scared to death as we were putting my reproductive life into the hands of another, and unsure about many things, but focusing on the goal which was becoming parents, the only part we were sure about which was simply being<br />
<br />
"Mom and Dad"<br />
<br />
It seems like yesterday that we were gently placing our son's tiny seven pound body into the car seat and strapping him in for his first ride home. Oh how terrified we were. I think we drove 25 miles per hour all the way home. And then we joyously experienced all of those firsts, his first smile, his first words, his first steps, lost his first tooth, and before I knew it my husband and I were taking him to his first day of Kindergarten.<br />
<br />
And now he's embarking upon puberty, middle school, and he's just plain growing up with all the stuff that goes with that -- namely independence.<br />
<br />
Over the past 12 years I have had plenty of time to think about my role in my son's life, the loss of my genetics, being a mom, and what that all means. During this time my son and I have had many conversations about "all of this" and my son who is wise beyond his years has simplified it for me. <br />
<br />
He says to me, <strong>"Mom, I am your child." </strong>And while he waxes Yoda I am reminded me of Barry Manilow's simple yet powerful song: <strong>I am your child</strong><br />
<br />
Wherever you go you take me too<br />
Whatever I know, I learned from you<br />
Whatever I do, you taught me to do<br />
<br />
<strong>I am your child</strong><br />
<strong>And I am your chance</strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
Whatever will come, will come from me<br />
Tomorrow is won by winning me<br />
<br />
<strong>Whatever I am, you taught me to be<br />
I am your hope, I am your chance</strong><br />
<br />
I am your child<br />
<br />
<strong>Whatever I am, you taught me to be<br />
I am your hope, I am your chance</strong><br />
<br />
I am your child<br />
<br />
These children we work so hard to bring into the world are simply our children. It doesn't matter that they don't share our DNA what matters is they are our children. And as the song goes "Whatever I am, you taught me to be, I am your hope, I am your chance, I am your child."<br />
<br />
Damn if this doesn't bring it home for me. PVEDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15193705233283347207noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6093024142021646941.post-86182891150218622452012-04-28T11:02:00.002-07:002012-04-28T11:03:42.049-07:00Being Roman Catholic and ART by: Marna Gatlin, Founder, Parents Via Egg Donation<br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;"><a href="http://articles.cnn.com/2012-04-26/us/us_indiana-in-vitro-lawsuit_1_fertility-treatments-fertility-doctor-diocese-officials?_s=PM:US"><span style="color: windowtext;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Emily Herx, former Indiana<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>high school teacher of literature</strong></span></span></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
was fired from her position at St. Vincent de Paul Catholic High School in Fort
Wayne, Indiana undergoing infertility treatment -namely IVF.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Emil was told her
contract would not be renewed because of “improprieties related to church
teachings or law.” Herx says the school's priest called her a <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">"grave,
immoral sinner"</i></b> and told her she should have kept mum about her
fertility treatments because some things are "better left between the
individual and God," the complaint said.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">What did Emily
do?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She filed a lawsuit stating she
didn't think she was doing anything wrong, and that she has never had any
complaints about herself as a teacher.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">The
diocese responded, saying it "views the core issue raised in this lawsuit
as a challenge to the diocese's right, as a religious employer, to make
religious based decisions consistent with its religious standards on an
impartial basis."<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">In its
statement, diocese officials said that "the church promotes treatment of
infertility through means that respect the right to life, the unity of
marriage, and procreation brought about as the fruit of the conjugal act. There
are other infertility treatments, such as in vitro fertilization, which are not
morally licit according to Catholic teaching."<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am a member of
the Roman Catholic Church and was a practicing Roman Catholic for most of my
life. I always thought I was going to be a mother; the thought never crossed my
mind that I would not become a mother or could not become a mother.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">As a child the following
bible verse ran through my head:</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Genesis 1:28 “God blessed them, saying to
them, 'Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and subdue it. Be masters of the
fish of the sea, the birds of heaven and all the living creatures that move on
earth.”</span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">This isn’t
always easy if you have fertility issues, and it’s incredibly difficult if you
are a Roman Catholic and find yourself needing assistance from an infertility
clinic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Because of the Church’s stance
on ART and their beliefs and clear opposition with respect to ART, (especially
third party reproduction) those individuals who must resort to third party
reproduction to have a child are faced with a huge moral dilemma – either go
against the Church and their faith or not have the opportunity to attempt pregnancy.
What is very sad and painful about all of this is that these individuals do not
have a choice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s been taken away from
them if they are to remain faithful Catholics and follow the teachings of the
Church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When the time
came for me to resort to Assisted Reproductive Technology and third party
assistance I was shocked to learn about the Church’s stance regarding ART.
After much struggling and soul searching I chose to walk away from the Church
because I didn’t believe that the God I loved in and believed would regard me
as evil or wicked because I wanted to become a mother via egg donation.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0.83em 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-weight: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">It’s sad but sometimes infertile
Catholics resort to IVF in order to conceive a child. The Roman Catholic Church
is very clear regarding IVF and their <a href="http://catholicinsight.com/online/church/vatican/article_476.shtml"><span style="color: windowtext;"><strong>position and opposition</strong></span></a><strong> </strong>to <a href="http://www.cdc.gov/art/"><span style="color: windowtext;"><strong>Assisted
Reproductive Technology</strong></span></a><strong>.</strong> Not only does the Church staunchly oppose
IVF they also do not support, and are incredibly clear about third party
reproduction which includes egg donation or gestational surrogacy.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0.83em 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-weight: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">The Catholic Church has taken a
position that a human being begins the moment of fertilization when an egg
(oocyte) is fertilized by a sperm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Catholic church teaches that a human
being must be respected as a person from the very first instant of his
existence as a human being, and therefore, from that same moment, his rights as
a person must be recognized among which in the first place, is the inviolable
right of every innocent human being to life. The Church also teaches that from
the moral point of view a truly responsible procreation vis-à-vis the unborn child
must be the fruit of marriage.” </i></span><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-no-proof: yes;"><strong>(John B. Shea, MD, The Moral Status of in vitro
fertilization (IVF) Biology and method)</strong></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Church also holds the position that IVF
violates the rights of the child: Depriving him of his filial relationship with
his parental origins and can hinder the maturing of his personality. It
objectively deprives conjugal fruitfulness of its unity and integrity; it
brings about and manifests a rupture between genetic parenthood, gestational
parenthood, and responsibility for upbringing. This threat to the unity and
stability of the family is a source of dissension, disorder, and injustice in
the whole of social life. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-no-proof: yes;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(John B. Shea,
MD, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Moral Status of in vitro
fertilization (IVF) Biology and method)</span></b></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-no-proof: yes;">Directly from<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> </b></span><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">Catechism of the Catholic Church (2378):</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-no-proof: yes;"> </span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-no-proof: yes;">“</span></i></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">A child is not something owed to one, but
is a gift. The "supreme gift of marriage" is a human person. A child
may not be considered a piece of property, an idea to which an alleged
"right to a child" would lead. In this area, only the child possesses
genuine rights: the right "to be the fruit of the specific act of the
conjugal love of his parents," and "the right to be respected as a
person from the moment of his conception."</span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">For me, the desire to be pregnant and to mother
was so compelling that it overshadowed the strong beliefs ingrained in me since
infancy. That need was stronger than all of my commitment to a church
that had raised me; the need to become pregnant and become a mother was more
intense than my devotion to the Roman Catholic Church.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am grateful that the church's prohibitions did
not shake my belief in God, only the belief that human beings could create
doctrine that would prohibit me from achieving my desire to become my son’s
mother.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">For me, the answer was to find a way to conceive
and birth my son, even though my "church" did not approve. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Your answer might be different. It's a
powerful dilemma with no easy answer.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0.83em 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-weight: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">So the troubling question remains
– What do devout Roman Catholics do who want nothing more than follow their
dreams, hopes and desires to become parents?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Do they remain steadfast and faithful to their belief system? Or do they
risk what the Catholic Church condemns as a gravely evil act? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">There is no easy
answer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span>PVEDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15193705233283347207noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6093024142021646941.post-79468189661655182422012-04-26T17:43:00.004-07:002012-08-10T09:44:17.702-07:00Defending My Donor Egg & Donor Sperm Family – Part I<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></b></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst" style="line-height: normal;">I suppose it goes without saying that disputes between <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">us</i> and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">them</i>, the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">haves</i> and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">have-nots, </i>the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Hatfields </i>and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">McCoys</i> date back to Biblical times, probably even prehistoric times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Such disputes range in topics as trivial as fashion sense to topics as monumental as human rights.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These conflicts define eras, elicit wars, inspire movements, infiltrate our consciousness, shape our perceptions, and even serve as lessons in children’s literature.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But despite Dr. Suess’ prophetic warning through the tale of the Sneeches, it seems humans are destined to create polarizing conflict. </div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">As parents of donor gamete children, my husband and I worry that our kids may someday become the target of sneers, ridicule, or ostracizing that often accompany an unwillingness to accept anything unfamiliar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although we are thoroughly comfortable with our family planning choices, we are also keenly aware that they are controversial enough to take our family from <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">us</i> status to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">them</i> status, a polarity indeed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thus, as parents who made these choices for our family, for our children, it is our obligation to ensure they are raised with a prideful sense of self and family inclusion regardless of genetic history.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">To assist us with this effort and prepare us for potential obstacles, we sought professional counseling prior to our dual donor in vitro conception.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course, we are aware that it is going to require thoughtful disclosure with repetitive explanation and reassurance to shape our children’s esteem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And yes, we realize that we will, at times, need to educate others around us to establish an accepting environment in which our children can thrive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But we certainly didn’t expect that we’d have to advocate for patient and family rights, which the law already guarantees us, or defend against people and organizations who openly and directly threaten our children’s emotional and psychological well-being.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And yet, here we are: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">them</i> within the debate of third party assisted reproduction.</div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">A recent article featured in the TribLocal Newspaper of Naperville, IL revealed opposition on the part of one councilman and 16 local residents to the building of a fertility clinic, citing moral concerns as the foundation of their objection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(<a href="http://triblocal.com/naperville/2012/03/21/residents-raise-moral-objections-to-proposed-fertility-clinic/">http://triblocal.com/naperville/2012/03/21/residents-raise-moral-objections-to-proposed-fertility-clinic/</a>)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One opponent, Mary Kizior, asserts that in vitro fertilization (IVF) procedures involving third party assistance are treated as human tissue commodities and as such, create the opportunity to exploit her female peers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will gladly address both aspects of that objection.</div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="color: #202020; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Two of my children were conceived using both donor eggs and donor sperm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The donors are completely unknown to us and to one another.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet, they are the providers of the most precious gifts anyone could ever bestow upon us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And no, we did not pay them for these gifts as if they were a commodity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We covered the costs of their medical expenses and reimbursed them for their time, effort, health risks, and possible physical discomfort endured while donating.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I assume Ms. Kizior did her research before making her accusatory assertion, therefore she should already be aware that it is illegal to use human tissue of any type for commerce.</span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="color: #202020; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Along a similar vein, Mike Brummond refers to children like mine as “manufactured”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Does this mean that organ donor recipients are manufactured as well; that they are simply human wastelands of recycled parts?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In both cases, third party assisted reproduction and organ donation, an amazing gift is given; the gift of life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Such a gift is made possible by the exclusively human trait of blind compassion, as donors and donor families will likely never know their beneficiaries.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the case of gamete donation, the donors go on to live full, productive lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They can donate again and even have children of their own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, in the case of organ donation, the donor must be deceased.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Furthermore, the donor must be young enough, healthy enough, and deceased.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If we are to remove the emotional component of human-to-human donation by using basic utilitarian language such as “manufactured”, does that make organ donor recipients nothing more than “vultures” preying on the prime subjects of society as Mr. Brummond’s “manufactured” comment infers?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I certainly think not. </span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="color: #202020; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">This brings me back to Ms. Kisior’s comment about “preying on the financial vulnerability of [her] female peers”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The only tissue I have ever donated is blood; a minimally inconvenient, painless donation for which my efforts, not my actual tissue, were compensated with a cookie and the comforting knowledge that my actions truly helped someone in need.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have no firsthand experience as a gamete donor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Therefore, I will make my case on behalf of my donors rather than myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Obviously, human anatomy and physiology tells us that sperm donation is even easier than blood donation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, many of the legal hoops through which a prospective donor must jump are similar to that of an egg donor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But since it is only the “female peers” that Ms. Kizior is concerned about, and it is egg donation that is significantly more medically complicated, it is the egg donor’s integrity that I will focus on defending. </span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="color: #202020; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Egg donors are a supremely exclusive group.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In addition to the fact that only a small portion of the female population is interested in egg donation, those who do opt to donate are screened extensively and are subject to very strict inclusion criteria.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Typically, the donor needs to be between the ages of 21 and 30.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She needs to be educated and/or pursuing higher education, physically healthy, abstain from smoking during all phases of the donation process (preferably a non-smoker in general), abstain from alcohol and illicit drug usage during all phases of the donation process, and be free of tattoos.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She will endure extensive psychological evaluation, must provide a detailed family medical history, and will be tested for any genetic anomalies for which she may be an unknown carrier.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If she passes the screening thus far, she must then sign legal contracts and documents declaring the truthfulness of her medical claims, ensuring the privacy of her recipients, relinquishing any rights to children conceived with her donation, and acknowledging and accepting health risks such as infection, infertility, and even death due to hyper-stimulated ovaries.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If she is still interested in moving forward, she will begin 3-4 weeks of hormonal therapy that includes giving herself daily injections to sync her reproductive cycle with that of her recipient.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Additional hormone therapy will stimulate egg production, a process that is very delicate and requires monitoring every other day via ultrasound examination.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This entire process from application to donation takes several weeks (approximately 60 hours of actual contact time with medical professionals) and the donor retains the right to withdraw from the process at any point.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The final phase is retrieval, an outpatient procedure known as transvaginal ultrasound aspiration (</span><a href="http://www.stanford.edu/class/siw198q/websites/eggdonor/procedures.html"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">http://www.stanford.edu/class/siw198q/websites/eggdonor/procedures.html</span></a><span style="color: #202020; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="color: #202020; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">As one can clearly see, egg donation is neither simple nor the product of an impulsive decision.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Additionally, there are ample opportunities to reverse the decision throughout the multi-week process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Women who are eligible to donate are also legally eligible to drive, marry, consume alcohol, purchase firearms (for which there is only a seven day waiting period and no psychological evaluation required), vote, and even run for public office.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet, Ms. Kizior believes egg donors are being exploited in some manner, that they are too naive or ignorant to know better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s a pretty offensive characterization of her “female peers”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And yes, of course reimbursement plays a role.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But if, as Ms. Kizior implies, egg donors are hapless, unknowing individuals who donate solely as a result of financial manipulation, I do not want them to retain any of the aforementioned rights either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe their motivations aren’t 100% altruistic, but it is myopic to assert that are acting solely upon personal vulnerabilities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is it possible that egg donors have educated minds and compassionate hearts?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I certainly think so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="color: #202020; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">And so, as National Infertility Awareness Week draws to a close, I would like to reiterate that I emphatically reject the comments of those who oppose families like mine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mr. Brummond’s claim that my children’s conception, and thus their being, is undignified is beyond offensive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am proud, damn proud, to be a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">them </i>within the third party reproduction debate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And with Mothers’ Day right around the corner, I would also like to share a sentiment of gratitude to all those who have assisted as a third party reproduction donor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the spirit of Dr. Suess:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thank you, thank you, thank you to all the Star Bellied Sneeches who shared the star-starters from within thars, to allow stars to grow within ours!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And shame on those of you who strive to tarnish our stars---believe it or not, they are just as valid as yars.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="color: #202020; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kelley Wendel, RN, BSN, & most importantly MOM</span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="color: #202020; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="color: #202020; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Kelley Wendel is the author of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Birds of a Different Feather</i>, a children’s book designed to instill a </span>prideful sense of self and celebrate family inclusion regardless of genetic history.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To learn more about the author and the book, visit:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="http://www.kelleywendel.tateauthor.com/">www.kelleywendel.tateauthor.com</a><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Follow me on Twitter and Facebook; links available through the website.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="color: #202020; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
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</div>PVEDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15193705233283347207noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6093024142021646941.post-25042272542785628312012-04-12T12:44:00.000-07:002012-04-12T12:44:43.416-07:00Let’s talk about privacy: Does your egg donor have a right to privacy?<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Here is a very typical and common scenario that causes me to grit my teeth every time I hear about it:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The IP (usually an intended mother) contracts with an egg donor agency and selects an egg donor. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Program fees have been paid, psych evaluations have been conducted, medical testing is in the works, and the ball is clearly rolling, especially if this is a repeat donor. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The egg donor while maybe not wanting to meet a set of intended parents is comfortable with an email or even a telephone call.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The profile might say where this egg donor is currently attending school, or where she lives, or where she’s worked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It might even give her first name and last initial.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">That information right there is enough for most Internet savvy people to begin an Internet search on their donor. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">What happens next is the intended parent (we will go with the intended mother) will begin her search.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She will begin perhaps with the college last attended.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If she discovers a first and last name she might Google the egg donor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finally she hits gold and sees the Facebook page, or maybe even a Twitter account.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the stalking begins.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Did I just say stalking?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yes, I just said stalking, because I think that’s what it is.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The intended mother while perusing the egg donors Facebook account may or may not have access to see the egg donor’s wall, or photos.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many times the egg donor doesn’t have her privacy settings implemented upon her Facebook and her photos and wall comments are open for the public to see. So the intended mother now see’s these photos, and reads these wall comments and doesn’t like what she sees.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She may discover that this egg donor has a Twitter account, or has some other web presence and learn more things about her egg donor that she doesn’t like.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The idea of the fantasy egg donor in her head has gone right out the window.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The intended mother then calls and tells the agency “I don’t want this egg donor any longer, she’s undesirable…”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So this begs the question –“Does your egg donor have a right to privacy?”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Do you as an intended parent have the right (regardless of the compensation you are paying for your egg donor) do Google search on your egg donor?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stalk her Facebook pages, Twitter account, or any other social networking site on the Internet for her?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Without her permission?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Especially if the egg donor has stated she doesn’t want a completely open egg donor cycle?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Or is everything fair in donor selection because after all there is no privacy on the Internet?<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> <strong>How would you feel as an intended parent if your donor somehow found out your name and Googled you? Searched you out on social network sites and right before you began your egg donor cycle said to the agency "You know what? I learned this about my intended parents and they are undesirable. I don't want them to have my genetics. So I am going to cancel the cycle."</strong></span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I know what my thoughts are – however, I am asking you what are yours?<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span>PVEDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15193705233283347207noreply@blogger.com8